90min's Definitive European Player Power Rankings: Oscars nomination special
By Tom Gott
The dust is settling after some pretty tasty Champions League and Europa League last 16 action, though truth be told we're already looking forward to some mouthwatering quarter-final action.
Oh, and things are ticking along nicely in the world of domestic football, as we close in on a European Championships filled summer. You know the drill by this point. It's time for 90min to rank the top performers of the week - but for this week's special edition, we're calling on a little help from the Oscar nominees.
Let's get into it.
16. Mislav Orsic (new entry)
"I want credit. It's the best thing I've ever written." (Mank)
Was his hat-trick against Tottenham the best thing Orsic has ever done?
On top of handing Jose Mourinho one of the biggest L's of his career, Orsic also has four goals and three assists in his last three league games for Dinamo. Solid.
15. Wout Weghorst (re-entry)
"Finish him off!"
"I'll finish him off when I'm good and ready to." (One Night in Miami...)
Schalke ended up being Weghorst's play thing this week.
The Bundesliga's bottom side could only watch on as Weghorst racked up a goal and two assists in Wolfsburg's 5-0 victory, but believe it or not, his performance wasn't the best highlight.
You owe it to yourself to check out Shkodran Mustafi's outstanding own goal, which will tell you everything you need to know about why Schalke are weeks away from being relegated.
14. Ilkay Gundogan (re-entry)
"To move forward, you must remember first." (News of the World)
I haven't got a clue what Gundogan is remembering these days. All I know is that he's moving forward a whole lot.
There were two more goals for the Manchester City midfielder to enjoy this week. Pep should just stick him up front and he'll never need to worry about not having a striker.
13. Jadon Sancho (down 9)
"I blew my tyre."
"Well, go change it."
"I don’t have a spare."
"You don’t have a spare? You’re out in the boondocks, and you don’t have a spare?" (Nomadland)
With a blown tyre and a nasty muscle injury, Sancho could do nothing but watch himself tumble down the Power Rankings this week.
12. Sasa Kalajdzic (new entry)
"If you're here with us for the first time, please stand." (Minari)
Kalajdzic has been standing up and introducing himself to the world recently with one of the hottest goalscoring streaks around.
The Stuttgart forward, whose 6'7 frame has helped him to the most headed goals in Europe, has scored in each of his last seven Bundesliga games, having netted in just one of his previous 14.
11. Georgios Giakoumakis (up 1)
"Very nice!" (Borat Subsequent Moviefilm)
After two games out with an injury, the Eredivisie's top scorer marked his return with a goal, but that still wasn't enough to stop VVV-Venlo's current rot.
Giakoumakis has bagged 14 of his side's last 18 goals. With no-one else prepared to stand up, it's no surprise they've fallen into a relegation fight.
10. Bruno Fernandes (-)
"We’ll be ready to go in fifteen minutes."
"We’ll be ready to go when Madam says we’re ready to go. And that’s the way it go around here." (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom)
Manchester United don't do anything unless Fernandes is involved, and unfortunately for them, he's been a bit tired recently. Almost as if carrying a team for over 12 months is a tough gig.
Having said that, if Fernandes' idea of a drop in form is one goal and one assist in four games, United can't exactly be too upset.
9. Andre Silva (-)
“Are we….dead?” (Over the Moon)
Is Silva... dead?
Two games without a goal is almost unheard of for Germany's second-top scorer. Can someone make sure he's alright?
8. Luis Muriel (up 5)
"I just use this voice because it annoys people."
"It's very effective." (Soul)
There is no sight more annoying that seeing Luis Muriel warming up off the bench. He's the best super sub around.
This week, he was actually thrown into the starting lineup, and he responded with two goals in two games.
11 Serie A starts, 16 goals. Tidy.
7. Romelu Lukaku (down 6)
"It's a revolution, Tom. We may have to hurt somebody's feelings." (The Trial of the Chicago 7)
Lukaku has been leading the anti-Juventus revolution in Italy, and he's definitely been hurting some Bianconeri feelings.
All in all, it was a pretty quiet week for the Belgian, who didn't get to enjoy any European football. One goal against Torino is all he managed.
6. Kylian Mbappe (up 1)
"That's two for me and none for you." (Wolfwalkers)
After watching his PSG side lose to Nantes in Ligue 1, Mbappe took it upon himself to will the Parisians through to the quarter-final of the Coupe de France.
He took charge of things with two goals in an impressive 3-0 victory over Lille, capping off a two-week period which also saw him net against Barcelona.
5. Gerard Moreno (up 3)
“A person can only do magic if they have the gift.” (Onward)
Moreno definitely has the gift.
The Villarreal man played four games since the last Power Rankings update, and he racked up a ridiculous three goals and four assists, which has helped him on his quest to become the all-time top scorer in the club's history.
4. Erling Haaland (up 2)
"You've become very important to a lot of people around here." (Sound of Metal)
Every fan on the planet is in love with Haaland. You only have to check Twitter for a few seconds and you'll see fans pleading with him to join their club.
With four goals in his last three games, I guess you can see why.
3. Cristiano Ronaldo (up 2)
“Why do you keep looking as if there’s something wrong? Everything is fine.” (The Father)
It's been a mental few weeks for Ronaldo. He became the top scorer in the history of professional football, and yet he still can't shake the reports suggesting literally nobody wants him.
He's got 23 goals in 23 league games for Juventus this year. He's scored seven goals in his last five matches.
Is it really all bad?
2. Robert Lewandowski (up 1)
"No use hiding from the piper. He has to be paid." (Promising Young Woman)
Haaland tried to show Lewandowski up when the two behemoths faced off in the Bundesliga, but the Bayern man was having none of it.
He ended that game with a hat-trick and has since added two more goals to his collection. It doesn't matter what you do to stop him, Lewandowski just scores goals.
1. Lionel Messi (up 1)
"I want to share something with you. Like the masses, I was in awe, when I first laid eyes on all the things you are." (Judas and the Black Messiah)
Is that a quote from Judas and the Black Messiah or from Joan Laporta's induction speech?
The Barcelona president hasn't exactly hidden his love for Messi, and given his recent form, you can't really blame him. In his last three games, Messi managed three goals and three assists.
Messi has been involved in at least one goal in each of his last 13 La Liga games - a run which has brought about 16 goals and seven assists. Unbelievable.