Really? It's a Tuesday morning, there's a Women's World Cup on and a Copa America to get lost in, and you people are making us write about Kylian bloody Mbappe? Alright, strap in.
Kylian Mbappe - PSG superstar and heir apparent to the 'best player in the world' mantle when the current generation age out - has, at some point, followed Mohamed Salah and Fabinho on Instagram; as well as Steven Gerrard and (former) Liverpool targets Memphis Depay and Nabil Fekir.
He also, and go with us on this, said 'soon' in an Instagram story post. And Paul Joyce retweeted a video Mbappe posted about being in the USA.
The Liverpool Echo, now little more than an occasionally well-sourced fanzine, ran a headline on Tuesday morning about Mbappe sending 'Liverpool fans into [a] transfer frenzy', their subhead breathlessly jabbering that 'fans were all saying the same thing about the France international.'
They managed to dig up one single tweet to include in the story to back this up. Frenzy indeed. Fan website Empire Of The Kop didn't even manage that much, running with "Mbappe sends Reds fans into a frenzy with ‘transfer hint’", without a single Liverpool supporter quoted, linked or embedded.
THE REAL STORY
Kylian Mbappe isn't going to Liverpool. He's not thinking about it, he's not 'considering a move', he's not 'dropping hints'. Kylian Mbappe isn't signing for Liverpool.
Oh, and PSG president Nasser Al-Khelaifi said in the last 48 hours: "Mbappe? I'm 200% sure he will still be at PSG next season."
Can we try to be better than this? Please? There are so many sensible football fans out there, and it's an encouraging thought that some of you might even be reading this. It's so easy to just...not bite on these things.
The kind of person who shouts 'clickbait!!!!!' at any story they don't like is the same kind of person who shares these tweets (which do, apparently, exist) about transfers that'll never happen. It's a constant cycle of nonsense fuelled by the people who whinge about it the most.
So this is a personal plea. From me, as a football fan and a writer, to you. The next time you see someone doing this, just clip them crisply around the back of the head. Not enough to cause them any real harm, just enough to shock them into shutting up, and maybe wobble their brain a bit. Stamp this out at its cause.
If people stop talking about transfers that'll never happen, the 'X fans GO WILD for transfer rumour!!!' articles can't be written, you won't have to read them, writers will be able to go and write actual good content and we'll all live slightly better lives.
Save a click.