The remaining contenders to become Tottenham's new head coach

There are two Daniel Levy's that have been in the headlines in the last few years - one created Schitt's Creek, and the other is stuck up it.

I'm here all week.

Tottenham's miserable attempts to replace Jose Mourinho have now been ongoing for more than two months. Mauricio Pochettino wanted the job, and then he didn't. Antonio Conte wanted the job, and then he didn't. Paulo Fonseca thought he had the job, and then he didn't. Gennaro Gattuso thought he had the job, and then his racist, sexist and homophobic comments resurfaced, and so he didn't.

For all of Levy's flaws, he at least used to be an astute businessman in the bustling world of football, but he is no longer even that. Spurs players are just over a week away from returning to pre-season training and nobody knows who the new boss is going to be.

The clock is ticking - who are the last remaining candidates to take this seemingly cursed job?

Levy's initial list

1. Graham Potter (Brighton & Hove Albion)

Philosophy: Rack up expected goals and then cash them in like it's Money in the Bank
Youth integration: Known to be open to it
Medal haul: He's managed Ostersunds, Swansea and Brighton, what do you think?

Hiring Potter would be the sort of gamble that the Tottenham of the late 2000s and early 2010s would definitely make, but they've evolved as a club in that time - they're still not winning much but at least they get Super League invites.

Suitability rating - 7/10
Likelihood rating - 6/10

2. Erik ten Hag (Ajax)

Philosophy: Yes.
Youth integration: Yes.
Medal haul: Yes.

One of the many, many problems with Spurs' very public pursuits of Pochettino and Conte is that it makes any other appointment look pathetic in comparison. But if Ten Hag is in the dugout come the end of the summer, then that would be seen as a major success.

Suitability rating - 9/10
Likelihood rating - 6/10

Away on international duty

3. Gareth Southgate (England)

Philosophy: 1-0 to the Eng-er-land
Youth integration: Has 'former Under-21' manager on his CV
Medal haul: Dependant on football coming home

Southgate's relative success in charge of the England senior team has made a lot of people forget about how hopeless a manager he is at club level. Sure, maybe he's changed, but it's not worthy of Spurs' time to make that gamble.

Suitability rating: 4/10
Likelihood rating: 4/10

4. Roberto Martinez (Belgium)

Philosophy: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge an opposition corner
Youth integration: Is insistent on playing 47-year-old Thomas Vermaelen
Medal haul: Won a top-level trophy more recently than Spurs

Roberto Martinez was loathed by the Everton faithful almost as quickly as he was loved - which sounds perfect for a club like Spurs.

Suitability rating: 6/10
Likelihood rating: 5/10

The dark horses

5. Ernesto Valverde (unattached)

Philosophy: 'The worse Barcelona do, the better I look'
Youth integration: Known enemy of La Masia
Medal haul: Overqualified

Spurs recently announced that former Juventus chief Fabio Paratici would be taking over as sporting director from 1 July, and you'd assume that he would be outreaching to more high-profile candidates. Valverde fits that mould and is ripe and waiting for another chance at a decent-sized club.

Suitability rating - 6/10
Likelihood rating - 6/10

6. Andrea Pirlo (unattached)

Philosophy: A 30-page thesis called 'The football I would like' (seriously)
Youth integration: Was in charge of Juventus' youth team for nine days
Medal haul: Two golds in one season

If Paratici is insistent on sticking to what he knows (calcio), then Pirlo is a calculated risk that would be right up his street once again. The World Cup winner endured a mixed first season in management with Juventus, and would fit Spurs' bill nicely.

Suitability rating: 7/10
Likelihood rating: 7/10

7. Christophe Galtier (unattached)

Philosophy: Outshine Mauricio Pochettino
Youth integration: Lille won Ligue 1 with an average age of 17 [citation needed]
Medal haul: Impressive for a guy who's only managed Saint-Etienne and Lille

Of all the candidates on this list, Galtier is the most suited (next to Ten Hag). Having conquered France with Lille, a move to Spurs would be the natural next point of progression in his career, particularly after a move to domestic rivals Lyon fell through.

Suitability rating: 9/10
Likelihood rating: 7/10

Stop copying Everton's notes

8. Rafa Benitez (unattached)

Philosophy: 'I cannot possibly do any more than this'
Youth integration: When appropriate
Medal haul: Gathering dust but still plentiful

If you were pitching this idea to Spurs fans, you would say Benitez is a less-extreme Mourinho whose philosophy is similar to Pochettino's if he was coaching in the early 2000s. Yeah, not great, is it?

Suitability rating: 6/10
Likelihood rating: 5/10

9. Nuno Espirito Santo (unattached)

Philosophy: Homer Simpson's boxing tactics
Youth integration: Had a senior squad of about 12 players last year, it was thrust upon him
Medal haul: Does a Championship winners' medal count?

If all else fails, Nuno would at least keep Spurs relevant and in the big six discussion. Even if the football would be horrible to watch - at least Son Heung-min and Harry Kane could be his new Diogo Jota and Raul Jimenez.

Suitability rating: 6/10
Likelihood rating: 6/10

When all else fails...

10. Ryan Mason (Tottenham)

Philosophy: TOP 5 TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR CHANTS (HD)
Youth integration: He is a product of it, yes
Medal haul: Lost 100% of his cup finals

The ultimate 'we tried, but failed' move would be to make Mason the youngest permanent boss in Premier League history. And that's becoming a more likely possibility with each passing day.

Suitability rating: 4/10
Likelihood rating: 5/10

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