Matching Hollywood Celebrities With Their Perfect English Football Club Ownership Bid

Nov 16, 2020, 3:48 PM GMT
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Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney are interested in buying Wrexham | Woohae Cho/Getty Images

In a twist to 2020 that nobody saw coming, Hollywood stars Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney have become the owners of fifth tier side Wrexham.

The duo shared their vision for the Welsh side with the fan-owned club's members and won a members' vote ahead of a reported £2m investment in the Welsh outfit.

We're hoping Reynolds and McElhenney will go back to their Hollywood parties, glowingly report back to their Hollywood friends about their glamorous trips to Woking, Stockport and Dagenham and Redbridge, and persuade them too to dip their hands in their pockets and splash out on a team in the English football leagues.

But as many a supporter can testify, it's not always easy to find the right owner who are the correct fit for a certain football team. Let's see if we can match some more Hollywood actors to some more British football teams.

Forest Green Rovers - Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio
Get DiCaprio to the New Lawn Stadium | Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Forest Green Rovers are owned by green energy entrepreneur Dale Vince, and are famously the first football club in the world to be certified as carbon neutral and vegan.

The club's identity has been built on being green and environmentally friendly, so what better person to join the board than long-term climate champion Leonardo DiCaprio?

The Oscar winner set up his own environmental awareness charity in 1998, despite his character meeting a sticky end in Titanic thanks to an unmelted ice cap.

Imagine DiCaprio and Hector Bellerin meticulously washing up yoghurt pots and taking out the recycling together to celebrate a last gasp Carl Winchester winner against Grimsby. Now that's England's answer to Hollywood.

Wycombe Wanderers - Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman
Jackman has a voice to rival that of Wycombe boss Ainsworth | Jeff Fusco/Getty Images

When you've got a musical genius in the dugout, you need someone who can hold a tune in the boardroom too.

Wycombe boss Gareth Ainsworth's managerial ability is often listed as his fourth greatest trait between one - his luscious locks, two - the fact he wears leather jackets, and three - the fact he's in a band.

Ainsworth has been in multiple bands and is currently the front man of The Cold Blooded Hearts, while Hugh Jackman has the vocal talents to rival even that of Ainsworth's, appearing in musicals Les Miserables and The Greatest Showman.

We can envisage the pair arm and arm on the Adams Park pitch, giving a more tuneful rendition than former Hull boss Phil Brown's attempt at Sloop John B by the Beach Boys after keeping Wycombe in the Championship on the final day of the season.

Tottenham - Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L Jackson
Jackson loves his golf | Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

The cinematic icon is one of the most successful and popular actors of his generation - but he also loves a game of golf.

Jackson is widely reported to have a clause in his contracts that enables him to have golf breaks while filming.

Well, well, well Mr Jackson, we think there might be a particular new Spurs signing who may share your golfing passion.

Getting Samuel L. Jackson in the boardroom could help seal the deal and eventually make Gareth Bale's switch to north London permanent. Or the Welshman may never kick a ball again as he and Jackson whittle away the hours together at the Chingford driving range.

Newcastle United - Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan
Lohan at Newcastle? That would be so fetch | Santiago Felipe/Getty Images

The parallels between Newcastle and Lindsay Lohan are uncanny. Kevin Keegan was to the Magpies what The Parent Trap was to Lohan, and while Mean Girls was confirming the American as a household name in 2004, Alan Shearer's goals were firing Newcastle into Europe.

Just like Newcastle, Lohan began to have a bit of a rough time of it. For the actress, it was off-screen struggles and the pressures of stardom, and for Newcastle, it was Mike Ashley and two relegations in seven years.

But Lohan has since got her life back on track and has even ventured into a spot of entrepreneurial work. Could a Newcastle United takeover be next on her bucket list? That would be grool.

Leeds United - Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise
Imagine Bielsa and Cruise bouncing ideas off each other | Gareth Cattermole/BFC/Getty Images

Marcelo Bielsa has transformed the fortunes of Leeds beyond measure. The Whites were one of English football's biggest sleeping giants, but the quirky Argentinian has taken them back to the big time after a 16-year absence.

Bielsa has achieved success throughout his career with a collection of eccentric methods; from walking around his technical area in exactly 13 steps as it's considered a lucky number in Argentina to Spy Gate, from drawing on his shoes to demonstrate where players should kick the ball, to living with nuns in a monastery for three months without a phone or TV in 2004.

Now I'm sure we can all agree there's just one thing missing at Ellland Road to take Leeds to the next level.

A sprinkling of Scientology.

Bolton Wanderers - Dani Harmer

Dani Harmer
Let's get Bolton and Harmer back to the big time | Dave M. Benett/Getty Images

We're aware that Dani Harmer is not a Hollywood actress. But with the profile she held among British school children in the 2000s, she may as well have been.

Just like Harmer, Bolton were a big noise in the 2000s. Sam Allardyce has the Trotters tiki-taka-ering their way into Europe as the likes of Jay-Jay Okocha, Nicolas Anelka and Ivan Campo graced the Reebok turf - the latter's hair actually has the touch of the Tracy Beaker about it.

But just like Harmer, Bolton's stock is not what it once was. They currently find themselves in League Two, with the poor ownership of Ken Anderson largely to blame for their demise.

Harmer can reignite some of that 2000s spirit to help take Bolton back to the promised land - and more importantly, tell Ken Anderson to BOG OFF.