They say there are two things guaranteed to survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches, and Gareth Bale to Manchester United transfer rumours.
Real Madrid want the Wales forward as much as they want a chesty cough, and they have made that clear on several occasions over the course of the past couple of seasons. The feeling is generally mutual, but despite seemingly barrelling towards a messy divorce, the two are yet to successfully negotiate a transfer.
They came close last year, but Madrid torpedoed a move to China at the last second, leaving Bale pretty despondent at the thought of another year in Spain. He got a measure of revenge with the 'Wales. Golf. Madrid' saga, and it seems he will now take anything that gets him away from the Bernabeu on a permanent basis.
According to Marca, his old pals United, with whom he has been unceasingly linked in every single transfer window since 2017, are back at the party. They claim that Madrid are now determined to offload him and see United as the only viable option.
United are said to hold an interest, but the general vibe of the piece suggests it's Real Madrid who want to sell to United, more than it is United being keen on Bale. Jadon Sancho remains their primary target, but that looks less likely to come off by the day.
The most recent quotes from Bale, which seem to have ticked Real off, read as follows: "I tried to leave last year but they [Real Madrid] blocked everything at the last second.
"It was a project I was excited for last year but it didn't materialise. And there have been other instances but the club won't allow it or something, so it's up to the club.
"I want to play football. I'm still motivated to play football. I'm 31 but I'm in great shape still and I feel I've got a lot to give.
"We'll see what happens. It's in the club's hands and they make things very difficult to be honest."
Meanwhile, former Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon claimed that an unnamed Premier League club made a big-money offer to sign Bale last summer, only to see it knocked back.
Calderon, who has not been involved at the club since 2009, told talkSPORT: "I know in the last day of the transfer window last year there was an offer from the Premier League.
"They offered €100m [£89m] and Real Madrid turned down that offer because they thought Bale would be a player in their side.
"I'm not allowed to say the name, though I do know the name of the club. I think at the end there was a disagreement as Madrid decided not to sell the player, because they thought he was a player who could be used and be in the starting line-up."