Well, that happened.
It couldn't have been a less enjoyable title coronation for Liverpool on Thursday, as Manchester City showed that there is perhaps not as much between the two sides as the now-20-point margin suggests.
The Blues were all over the Reds like a nipping Sunday-morning headache, taking advantage of their uncharacteristic slackness and lethargy to run out 4-0 victors. The newly-crowned champions' level of performance has been heavily criticised (if not by manager Jurgen Klopp), but after a 30-year wait for a league title, surely you're entitled to a week-long hangover.
Clearly, a few of the players were fragile shadows of their normal selves, but whether that's down to overdoing it on the lockdown cans or not, we're going to take a few liberties and assume that it was.
*except in the cases of Mohamed Salah and Sadio Mané, who don't drink alcohol, and we can just assume were suffering from indigestion after overstuffing themselves*
10. Jordan Henderson - Two Beers, a Glass of Water and an Early Night
Captain fantastic, for all there is still a bit of north-eastern madman in him, doesn't seem like much of a drinker.
His attitude, particularly since Klopp's arrival, has been exemplary, frequently putting the team above his own ego, and as such it's easy to imagine him opting for an early night so he can lead by example at training the following day.
On the pitch, he looked like the one guy at work on Monday morning who rejected the night out to stay in with his girlfriend - annoyingly loud and hard-working despite the rest of the office operating at 50% functionality.
9. Alisson - A Different Craft Beer No-One Had Heard of on Every Round
It's grim to think of how much worse this could have been for Liverpool if it was anyone but Alisson in goal, but even he didn't have his best afternoon.
His communication wasn't quite right - hoarse voice, perhaps? And from set pieces, he didn't look the commanding presence he normally is.
Still, he was continually quick off his line, showing he was one of the sharper Liverpool players on a day when sharpness was at a premium.
8. Fabinho - 5 Rum & Cokes and a Pint of Estrella
His deceptively scrawny build suggests that Fabinho largely sticks to his spirits, but it was the first chance he'd had to get a draught pint since lockdown - who could resist?
There's a case to be made that he was Liverpool's best player on Thursday but even he was overrun.
7. Georginio Wijnaldum - 4 Bud Lights, 3 Vodka & Oranges & a Double G&T
His pristine teeth and carefully crafted physique suggest this is a man who watches what he's doing on the bevvy, but even he allowed himself a bit of leeway after being crowned Premier League champion.
He seemed to lose every 50/50 he entered - though that's perhaps understandable considering most of those were with Kevin De Bruyne playing at his absolute best.
6. Virgil van Dijk - 8 Pints of Amstel and a Vodka & Red Bull
You only have to look at Virgil van Dijk to see that's a man who can handle his drink. He clearly has the constitution of an ox, but that didn't stop him downing six pints by the time everyone else was onto their second and falling asleep at the table by 10pm.
Amazingly he was one of Liverpool's better performers but was a mile off his game, something an on-fire City sensed from the first minute.
5. Roberto Firmino - 5 Perfectly Measured Mojitos & 4 Desperados
The endeavour was there for Firmino, but his usual intensity, sharpness and stamina were not.
It's perhaps just as well for his health that he was withdrawn after an hour.
4. Trent Alexander-Arnold - 6 Bottles of the Same Beer He's Drunk Since He Was 16 & His First Tequila Shot
Alexander-Arnold strikes you as the type who doesn't drink that often, and as a consequence, it doesn't take much to write him off. His performance against Raheem Sterling and Benjamin Mendy suggests he'd had one of those nights.
Someone - probably Firmino - introduced him to tequila for the first time, and it had him in the toilet cubicle within minutes.
3. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - 7 Pints of Dark Fruits and 4 Double Vodka & Cokes
You consciously overdo it on the Saturday, safe in the knowledge that you've got the Sunday off to sleep your troubles away. But then you wake up to a frantic phone call from your boss, begging you to come in because someone else has called in sick, and you blearily stumble into your uniform and jump on the bus.
You arrive an hour late, completely unprepared for a shift, and puke in the toilet before lunch-time. That's how Alex OG-Chamberlain must have felt after being called upon at half-time by Jurgen Klopp.
2. Andy Robertson - 8 Pints of Lager, 4 Jager Bombs & a Half Bottle of Buckfast
Normally such an energetic presence down the left flank, Robertson looked burst after half an hour against City. Positionally, he wasn't all there in the slightest, with Phil Foden's deft runs inside and the overlapping of Kyle Walker frequently bamboozling him.
The famous Scottish alcohol tolerance will only take you so far.
1. Joe Gomez - A Bottle of Orange Mad Dog & More Tequilla Shots Than Anyone Could Count
Gomez can't remember anything beyond the second round of shots, but teammates attest that he got in at least five - two of which he had all to himself.
Anyone who's ever had a tequila hangover will know that you do not want to be left marking Raheem Sterling on a tequila hangover.