Liverpool Players by How Bad Their Hangover Was in Man City Thrashing - Ranked

Andrew Robertson - Soccer Player
Andy Robertson was clearly fragile on Thursday evening | Visionhaus/Getty Images

Well, that happened.

It couldn't have been a less enjoyable title coronation for Liverpool on Thursday, as Manchester City showed that there is perhaps not as much between the two sides as the now-20-point margin suggests.

The Blues were all over the Reds like a nipping Sunday-morning headache, taking advantage of their uncharacteristic slackness and lethargy to run out 4-0 victors. The newly-crowned champions' level of performance has been heavily criticised (if not by manager Jurgen Klopp), but after a 30-year wait for a league title, surely you're entitled to a week-long hangover.

Clearly, a few of the players were fragile shadows of their normal selves, but whether that's down to overdoing it on the lockdown cans or not, we're going to take a few liberties and assume that it was.

*except in the cases of Mohamed Salah and Sadio Mané, who don't drink alcohol, and we can just assume were suffering from indigestion after overstuffing themselves*

10. Jordan Henderson - Two Beers, a Glass of Water and an Early Night

Eric Garcia, Jordan Henderson
Henderson captained a whimpering Liverpool team | Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images

Captain fantastic, for all there is still a bit of north-eastern madman in him, doesn't seem like much of a drinker.

His attitude, particularly since Klopp's arrival, has been exemplary, frequently putting the team above his own ego, and as such it's easy to imagine him opting for an early night so he can lead by example at training the following day.

On the pitch, he looked like the one guy at work on Monday morning who rejected the night out to stay in with his girlfriend - annoyingly loud and hard-working despite the rest of the office operating at 50% functionality.

9. Alisson - A Different Craft Beer No-One Had Heard of on Every Round

Alisson Becker
Maybe stick to the water in future, Alisson | Pool/Getty Images

It's grim to think of how much worse this could have been for Liverpool if it was anyone but Alisson in goal, but even he didn't have his best afternoon.

His communication wasn't quite right - hoarse voice, perhaps? And from set pieces, he didn't look the commanding presence he normally is.

Still, he was continually quick off his line, showing he was one of the sharper Liverpool players on a day when sharpness was at a premium.

8. Fabinho - 5 Rum & Cokes and a Pint of Estrella

Fabinho hiding his face in shame
Fabinho hiding his face in shame | Pool/Getty Images

His deceptively scrawny build suggests that Fabinho largely sticks to his spirits, but it was the first chance he'd had to get a draught pint since lockdown - who could resist?

There's a case to be made that he was Liverpool's best player on Thursday but even he was overrun.

7. Georginio Wijnaldum - 4 Bud Lights, 3 Vodka & Oranges & a Double G&T

FBL-ENG-PR-MAN CITY-LIVERPOOL
Wijnaldum struggling to keep up with Phil Foden | LAURENCE GRIFFITHS/Getty Images

His pristine teeth and carefully crafted physique suggest this is a man who watches what he's doing on the bevvy, but even he allowed himself a bit of leeway after being crowned Premier League champion.

He seemed to lose every 50/50 he entered - though that's perhaps understandable considering most of those were with Kevin De Bruyne playing at his absolute best.

6. Virgil van Dijk - 8 Pints of Amstel and a Vodka & Red Bull

Virgil van Dijk
Normally so commanding, Van Dijk wasn't sure if he was coming or going against City | Visionhaus/Getty Images

You only have to look at Virgil van Dijk to see that's a man who can handle his drink. He clearly has the constitution of an ox, but that didn't stop him downing six pints by the time everyone else was onto their second and falling asleep at the table by 10pm.

Amazingly he was one of Liverpool's better performers but was a mile off his game, something an on-fire City sensed from the first minute.

5. Roberto Firmino - 5 Perfectly Measured Mojitos & 4 Desperados

FBL-ENG-PR-MAN CITY-LIVERPOOL
Firmino's lockdown haircut went down about as well as his performance | DAVE THOMPSON/Getty Images

The endeavour was there for Firmino, but his usual intensity, sharpness and stamina were not.

It's perhaps just as well for his health that he was withdrawn after an hour.

4. Trent Alexander-Arnold - 6 Bottles of the Same Beer He's Drunk Since He Was 16 & His First Tequila Shot

Trent Alexander-Arnold
An Alexander-Arnold free-kick which just about summed up Liverpool's performance | Pool/Getty Images

Alexander-Arnold strikes you as the type who doesn't drink that often, and as a consequence, it doesn't take much to write him off. His performance against Raheem Sterling and Benjamin Mendy suggests he'd had one of those nights.

Someone - probably Firmino - introduced him to tequila for the first time, and it had him in the toilet cubicle within minutes.

3. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - 7 Pints of Dark Fruits and 4 Double Vodka & Cokes

Raheem Sterling, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Oxlade-Chamberlain's own goal was unfortunate but summed up a sub-par performance | Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

You consciously overdo it on the Saturday, safe in the knowledge that you've got the Sunday off to sleep your troubles away. But then you wake up to a frantic phone call from your boss, begging you to come in because someone else has called in sick, and you blearily stumble into your uniform and jump on the bus.

You arrive an hour late, completely unprepared for a shift, and puke in the toilet before lunch-time. That's how Alex OG-Chamberlain must have felt after being called upon at half-time by Jurgen Klopp.

2. Andy Robertson - 8 Pints of Lager, 4 Jager Bombs & a Half Bottle of Buckfast

Andy Robertson
Stare at the ground, Andy - it might swallow you up if you do it for long enough | Robbie Jay Barratt - AMA/Getty Images

Normally such an energetic presence down the left flank, Robertson looked burst after half an hour against City. Positionally, he wasn't all there in the slightest, with Phil Foden's deft runs inside and the overlapping of Kyle Walker frequently bamboozling him.

The famous Scottish alcohol tolerance will only take you so far.

1. Joe Gomez - A Bottle of Orange Mad Dog & More Tequilla Shots Than Anyone Could Count

Raheem Sterling, Jordan Henderson - Soccer Player, Joe Gomez - Soccer Player
Gomez couldn't handle the electric Sterling | Visionhaus/Getty Images

Gomez can't remember anything beyond the second round of shots, but teammates attest that he got in at least five - two of which he had all to himself.

Anyone who's ever had a tequila hangover will know that you do not want to be left marking Raheem Sterling on a tequila hangover.

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