England's biggest wins ever - ranked

Tom Gott
England celebrate against San Marino
England celebrate against San Marino / AFP/Getty Images

While major tournament glory has proved pretty illusive throughout their history, England have a strong record of demolishing minnows in friendlies and qualification matches.

Whether it be San Marino or Luxembourg, the Three Lions often take no prisoners when the chance comes to rack up big victories.

So, without further ado, here are England's biggest ever victories.

22. Finland 0-8 England (20/05/1937)

England embarked on a trip around Scandinavia in 1937, and if their 8-0 mauling of Finland is anything to go by, they had a pretty good time.

Two of those goals went to Joe Payne, who is better known as the man who holds the Football League record for most goals in a single game - 10 for Luton against Bristol Rovers in 1936.

21. England 8-0 Mexico (10/05/1961)

England were playing just their sixth game of the 1960/61 season when they met Mexico, but they bagged their 40th goal of the season in this 8-0 victory.

Believe it or not, the match before this actually brought about a better scoreline. Stay tuned.

20. Turkey 0-8 England (14/11/1984)

Qualification for the 1986 World Cup ended on a high for England, who thumped Turkey to the tune of 8-0 in November 1984.

Of those eight goals, only a few are actually worth watching, with England somehow managing to make six of the goals look like incredibly hard work.

19. England 8-0 Turkey (14/10/1987)

Three years later, in Euro 1988 qualification, Turkey were again on the wrong side of a hiding.

There was a hat-trick from Gary Lineker and a John Barnes double, and Peter Beardsley probably should have had six or seven of his own.

18. San Marino 0-8 England (22/03/2013)

Welcome to the 21st century. England's biggest win since that Turkey game in 1987 came against everyone's favourite underdogs, San Marino.

The biggest highlight of the game came from the stadium announcer, who decided to reverse the names of every England player for some reason, prompting a new chant of there's only one Sturridge Daniel.

17. Northern Ireland 1-9 England (15/03/1890)

England put Northern Ireland to the sword at the 1889/90 Home Championships with an emphatic 9-1 victory in the group stage, led by a hat-trick from Everton icon Fred Geary.

The excitement of that was quickly taken away as a 1-1 draw with Scotland in the final didn't even go to extra time or penalties. Instead, the two just shared the trophy. Fun.

16. Wales 1-9 England (16/03/1896)

Sticking with the Home Championships, head forward just a few years earlier and you'll find Wales on the receiving end of the same 9-1 scoreline.

Steve Bloomer bagged the game's second goal - England's 200th goal in their history - and he went on to plunder four more before the full-time whistle.

15. England 9-1 Netherlands (11/12/1909)

This was actually the England Amateur team, which largely consisted of professionals who weren't being paid. It's not the same as the England team, but the Three Lions still like to count those results. They mauled pretty much everyone at the time, including this 9-1 thumping of a Netherlands side that was made up of genuine amateurs. Sounds fair.

Vivian Woodward, one of England's most prolific strikers ever, bagged six goals in this game against a bunch of randomers from the Netherlands. But yep, still counts.

14. South Africa 1-9 England (17/07/1920)

England jetted out on a tour of South Africa in the summer of 1920, in which they played Bafana Bafana three times.

3-1 and 3-0 victories whet England's appetite, before they thumped nine past their generous hosts to bring the summer to a close. Sheffield United FA Cup hero Stan Fazackerley helped himself to four of them.

13. Belgium 1-9 England (11/05/1927)

Belgium actually had England's number in the early 20th century. They were the first team not to lose to the mighty Amateurs, and England took that personally.

Their revenge came in the form of a 9-1 victory which brought about a hat-trick for the famous Dixie Dean.

12. England 9-0 Northern Ireland (09/03/1895)

Sporting what is described as 'white jerseys and navy blue knickerbockers' (your guess is as good as mine), England got their 1985 Home Championships run off to a fine start with a 9-0 win over Northern Ireland.

This time, the glory would be all England's as they went on to thump Scotland 3-0 in the final.

11. England 9-0 Germany (13/03/1909)

The Amateurs at it again.

This time, it was Germany on the receiving end of a 9-0 loss, and you'll regularly hear this result brought up by clueless fans who actually believe replicating it these days is possible.

10. Switzerland 0-9 England (20/05/1909)

If you haven't gathered by this point, the Amateurs pretty much made a mockery of every team they played against...which isn't particularly hard when your opponents literally aren't footballers.

Switzerland now. 9-0. Thanks for coming.

9. Luxembourg 0-9 England (19/10/1960)

England went unbeaten in their qualification for the 1962 World Cup, with this 9-0 thrashing of Luxembourg the best result of them all.

There were hat-tricks for both Bobby Charlton and Jimmy Greaves, with Johnny Haynes and a Bobby Smith double completing the fun.

8. England 9-0 Luxembourg (15/12/1982)

22 years later, Luxembourg were on the end of the same scoreline, and it would have been worse if they'd have had the undisputed blessing that is VAR back in 1982.

England thought they had gone ahead after just two minutes when Luther Blissett's header appeared to cross the line, only for the referee to decline to give the goal after a lengthy discussion with the linesman. Be careful what you wish for.

7. San Marino 0-10 England (15/11/2021

Tyrone Mings
England sealed passage through to the 2022 World Cup when beating San Marino / CPS Images/GettyImages

England secured qualification for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar - and the biggest win of the Gareth Southgate era - with a 10-0 win over San Marino.

The star of the show was Harry Kane, who bagged four goals on the night to take him level with Gary Lineker on 48 international strikes for the Three Lions, and there were also a number of impressive cameos from some young guns.

Still, they were only playing part-timers...

6. Portugal 0-10 England (25/05/1947)

On top of the enormous scoreline, this 10-0 win over Portugal is famous for giving us the fastest goal in England history.

Tommy Lawton needed just 17 seconds to open the scoring, and to add to the history, his second goal in the 11th minute was the team's 700th goal ever. Busy day.

5. United States 0-10 England (27/05/1964)

The USA stunned the world when they beat England 1-0 at the 1950 World Cup, so the Three Lions were more than happy to dish out some revenge in 1964.

Despite two goals inside the first six minutes, this one was only 3-0 at half time, after which England went a little wild in front of goal.

4. Austria 1-11 England (08/06/1908)

Austrian football was still trying to get going in 1908, and England didn't help raise spirits around the sport when they roared to an 11-1 win over the minnows on their European tour.

Vivian Westwood was at it again, picking up five goals, but at least the opponents were almost professionals this time.

3. England 12-2 Netherlands (21/12/1907)

The worst defeat in the history of Dutch football came against... you guessed it, the England Amateurs, who just so happened to dish out the Netherlands' three worst losses within one 30-month period.

On top of England's 9-1 victory from earlier in this list, there was also a bruising 8-1 win in April 1907. A rough time for Dutch football.

2. England 13-2 Northern Ireland (18/02/1899)

As I'm sure comes as no surprise, England's 13-2 victory over Northern Ireland was the biggest in Home Championships history. They might have even bagged 14. Jimmy Crabtree missed a penalty early in the second half, so England had to settle for just the 13 goals.

The visitors would go on to lose 9-1 to Scotland just over a month later, but somehow, they still managed to finish ahead of Wales.

1. Northern Ireland 0-13 England (18/02/1882)

Here we are. The biggest victory in England history, and this one will take something truly special to knock off top spot.

It was the first international match in Northern Ireland's history, and it didn't exactly end well as they fell to a crushing 13-0 loss to England, who were 5-0 up at half time and refused to ease up after the break. Welcome to the big leagues.

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