Building Newcastle's Perfect Premier League Footballer

Newcastle are an enigma. They're one of the most historic clubs in the land, but have hit headlines for Mike Ashley-related reasons more often than not of late.

There could be new ownership sooner rather than later though and...well, if we were to build a 'Transformers' style mega mash of the best players to play in the Premier League for the Toon, as a kind of template for the transfers to make, what would we produce? Cast your eyes over our Tyneside creation.

Brain - Gary Speed

The definition of a team player, Gary Speed is a club legend whose sudden death in 2011 shocked the football world.

Signed in 1998, the intelligent Welshman was at the heart of the Newcastle midfield for seven seasons before moving to Bolton.

Former teammates remember him as incredibly personable and a generally good bloke. Collected two FA Cup runners-up medals on Tyneside, played professionally until the age of 39 and went on to manage Sheffield United and later his country. One of the truly great football minds of his generation.

Eyes (Vision) - Nolberto Solano

Nobby Solano is another Toon icon, and one who could see things many others couldn't. One of the best dead-ball specialists in the Premier League era, Solano was key to Newcastle's successful period in the early 2000s.

He enjoyed two spells at the club and played over 300 games either side of a move to Aston Villa, the 'adopted Geordie' from Peru famously forming a dynamic partnership with Frenchman Laurent Robert.

Away from the game, Solano played the trumpet more than competently and had his own salsa band The Geordie Latinos. Get booking for your wedding now.

Lungs - David Batty

One of England's best defensive midfielders of his generation; Batty was a tireless worker and arguably under appreciated for both club and country.

He was often plagued by untimely injuries, meaning he missed the chance to play at Euro 2000. But for two seasons at St. James' Park, Batty was a key shield to the defence and helped the side finish second in his first full season at the club. The dynamic, tenacious roadrunner would go on to join former team Leeds, whom he helped reach the semi-finals of the Champions League.

Body (Strength) - Stuart Pearce

Although only at St. James Park for two seasons, notorious hard man Stuart Pearce was a brute of a defender.

Joining in 1998 from Nottingham Forest, alongside fellow league veterans Ian Rush and John Barnes, he helped Kenny Dalgliesh's Newcastle side reach the FA Cup Final where they were on the losing side.

Nicknamed 'Psycho', Pearce was an unforgiving tackler and a no nonsense old fashioned English bruiser. He progressed into management after retirement, firstly with Manchester City and later the England Under-21 side with mixed results.

Legs (Pace) - Obafemi Martins

Oh Obafemi, what a character the Nigerian striker was – a scorer of some fantastic goals while at Newcastle – even if his overall strike rate could've been higher.

Signed from Inter in 2006, the absolutely rapid Martins hit the ground running (geddit?) and had a successful first season in England, but his form fell away after the arrival of Sam Allardyce.

Possessor of a fiercely powerful strike, the forward's goal celebrations are some of the most acrobatic the Premier League has seen.

Left Foot - David Ginola

The epitome of suave and sophistication, David Ginola certainly raised a few eyebrows when he joined the English game in 1995.

The charismatic and gifted winger, who had an absolute gem of a left foot, was mercurial to say the least. He didn't exactly possess a work ethic, but often came up with an outrageous piece of play out of nowhere.

It got too cold up north in the end for David and he joined Spurs in 1997, where he continued to entertain and frustrate in equal measure. He also dabbled in acting after retirement, as well as dancing, wine making and a FIFA presidency attempt. How very cultured.

Right Foot - Alan Shearer

The greatest player to play in the Premier League, perhaps? In terms of goals, no one is even close. His 260 Premier League strikes may never be overtaken, and it's made even more remarkable by the fact that he never played for a supposed 'Big Four' club.

A classic English striker with bite, aggression, tactical awareness and clinical finishing; Shearer is the first thing you think about when it comes to Newcastle - apart from maybe its night life.

He was great with his head and from the penalty spot, but the majority of the goals came from his right boot and it's one of the best to have played the game.

Hair - Daniel Cordone

Honourable mentions go to Andy Carroll and Fabricio Coloccini but Argentine flop Daniel Cordone takes this one.

Cordone played just a single season at Newcastle in 2000 after signing from Racing Club and didn't score a single league goal, but it's the barnet that grabbed the headlines.

He looked like a cross between Iggy Pop and Hercules; with a long blonde and brown greasy mullet held back with a rather painful looking hairband. It was all a bit of a mess. Don't even get us started on his unremovable soldered hoop earrings, either...