Gareth Bale wants to leave Real Madrid. If that is still news to you, then I'm not sure what you've been doing for the past two years, but you haven't been watching football.
It's not even a 'reportedly unsettled' thing any more. He's openly said it. Look.
I want to play football. I'm still motivated to play football. I'm 31 but I'm in great shape still and I feel I've got a lot to give. We'll see what happens. It's in the club's hands and they make things very difficult to be honest.- Gareth Bale
If he is to leave, then, where could he go? And where should he go? 90min have assessed the very limited transfer options that may be available to him, should Real finally see sense and release him from purgatory before the transfer window closes.
1. Manchester United
United's links with Bale aren't boring. They were boring two years ago. Now, they've transcended boring, tedious, insufferable and just about every other negative adjective the Oxford dictionary can come up with. We need a new word to categorise the profound, bottomless dejection we feel every time these links arise.
Anyway, yeah. If negotiations over Jadon Sancho do go down the tank, this could be a plausible stop-gap for a year or so, but from a United perspective, it would be as underwhelming as it gets.
Suitability Rating: 2/10
Likelihood Rating: 3/10
There's a touch of square pegs in round holes about this one, but Inter love spending a stupid amount of money on an ageing, ex-Premier League player. Throw in the branding possibilities of acquiring Bale, and this will be an attractive proposition.
Whether or not Bale would fancy rotating with Ashley Young at left wing-back remains to be seen.
Suitability Rating: 4/10
Likelihood Rating: 4/10
The arrival of José Mourinho briefly reignited the possibility of this deal coming off, but those flames were rapidly snuffed out by the cold, hard fact that Spurs are skint.
Especially so now, with the wider economy taking a beating by the pandemic.
So, yeah, as much as both parties would be keen to make a romantic return happen, financially, it's a non-starter.
Suitability Rating: 5/10
Likelihood Rating: 2/10
4. Jiangsu Suning (or somewhere else in the CSL)
Yeah, this just about makes sense, doesn't it? Jiangsu Suning came close to signing Bale a year ago only for Real to pull the plug, but now he'll be cheaper and more keen than ever to force a move through.
It's not the most exciting move for Bale, but beggars can't be choosers. And at this stage, he's nothing if not a beggar.
Suitability Rating: 6/10
Likelihood Rating: 6/10
5. LA Galaxy
With Inter Miami signing Blaise Matuidi, there is now only one MLS team with free designated and international player slots, who also have the sort of financial and promotional pull to make a deal happen.
The same team who have audaciously taken David Beckham, Steven Gerrard and Zlatan Ibrahmovic to the States will undoubtedly fancy a move for Bale, but logistically, in the wake of the coronavirus crisis, it may be too ambitious even for them.
Do they have golf courses in LA, by the way?
Suitability Rating: 8/10
Likelihood Rating: 4/10