90min's Definitive European Player Power Rankings 2020/21: Week 8
By Tom Gott
After an international break which felt like it lasted an eternity, we finally got back to club action this week.
We're done with pointless internationals for the rest of 2020, so it's time to celebrate, and what better way to do that than to rank Europe's top 15 performers using quotes from some of history's finest films?
This week, we're flipping the calendar back to 2003.
15. Mikel Oyarzabal (Down 8)
"Fishy?! Wake up! Why are you sleeping?!" (Finding Nemo)
A quiet week for Oyarzabal, who drew blanks against both Cadiz and AZ Alkmaar.
Fortunately, his Real Sociedad side are still top of La Liga, so we've got an underdog to keep rooting for.
14. Romelu Lukaku (Re-Entry)
"You're a fat loser and you have body odour." (School of Rock)
^ A sneak peak at Manchester United's parting message to Lukaku.
Since leaving Old Trafford, Lukaku has been shining. This week, he racked up two goals and two assists in Inter's 4-2 win over Torino... but we don't need to talk about the loss to Real Madrid.
13. Jamie Vardy (Re-Entry)
"You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til it's over." (Love Actually)
Vardy proved that it really ain't over until the fat lady sings this week.
He bagged a 95th-minute equaliser in his side's 3-3 draw with Braga which ensured Leicester qualified for the knockout stages of the Europa League. Not bad.
12. Bruno Fernandes (New Entry)
"It must be getting near tea-time, leastways in decent places where there is still tea-time."
"We're not in decent places." (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King)
Old Trafford isn't the best of places to be these days, but Fernandes is still enjoying tea-time.
United's saviour bagged their winner in the 1-0 win over West Brom, before adding another two goals against Istanbul Basaksehir, singlehandedly alleviating the pressure on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
11. Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Down 1)
"Hey, you know what this calls for? A pile of delicious barley and amberweed on a cool bed of malted hops, eh?"
"I like it!" (Brother Bear)
Everton fans were celebrating like Rutt and Tuke this week as Calvert-Lewin found his shooting boots again.
He needed just a few seconds to net against lowly Fulham and added another before half-time as Everton managed to get back to winning ways.
10. Danilo (Up 1)
"Oh honey, there just welcoming you into the family."
"They set me on fire."
"Just your pants." (Cheaper By the Dozen)
Danilo and his pants are on fire right now.
He returned from the international break to bag FC Twente's goal in their 1-1 draw with PSV Eindhoven this week, taking his tally to nine in nine for the season. Ajax have found themselves another gem.
9. Son Heung-min (-)
"We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life." (Bad Boys II)
Son and Harry Kane definitely say that to each other before games.
It's working wonders for Son, who bagged Tottenham's first in their ruthless 2-0 win over Manchester City.
8. Joao Felix (Down 4)
"What are you doing?"
"My husband's a photographer, so he's here working. I wasn't doing anything so I came along."
"What do you do?"
"I'm not sure yet, actually." (Lost in Translation)
Felix was looking like a superstar before the international break, but since his return to Atletico Madrid, he's looked more like the lost youngster from his debut season.
Atleti snatched a 1-0 win over Barcelona before going goalless against Lokomotiv Moscow, and Felix never really looked like shining.
7. Cristiano Ronaldo (Up 6)
"B-E-A-utiful." (Bruce Almighty)
Just the three goals for Ronaldo this week.
He may have almost got outSiiiiiiii-ed by Ferencvaros, but Ronaldo ended up having the last laugh, just as he always does.
6. Kylian Mbappe (Down 1)
"I'm just looking out for number one." (Shanghai Knights)
Paris Saint-Germain's number one made it five consecutive Ligue 1 appearances with a goal this week. He netted two against Monaco, only to see his hard work undone by a ridiculous cameo from Cesc Fabregas.
That's nine goals and five assists in just seven league games this year, which sounds about right for Mbappe.
5. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Up 3)
"This part... you do alone." (Mystic River)
Ibrahimovic still hasn't failed to score in a Serie A game this season, and he's pretty much entirely responsible for AC Milan's rise to the top of the table.
Unfortunately, I Rossoneri will be left to fend for themselves as Ibrahimovic picked up a muscle injury and might not be seen for a few weeks.
4. Steven Berghuis (Down 1)
"Though he be but little, he is fierce.
That's Shakespeare, boys, Shakespeare." (Seabiscuit)
The Europa League might not be Berghuis' preferred stomping ground, but when it comes to Eredivisie games, there's no player in better form.
The Feyenoord captain bagged two more goals this week, taking his tally to nine goals and five assists in just nine appearances. He's not messing about this year.
3. Erling Haaland (Up 3)
"I'm not stupid, I know everyone thinks I am, I just don't like answering stupid questions." (Holes)
Who needs interview skills when you can score six goals in two games?
After putting four past Hertha BSC, Haaland went and bagged two against Club Brugge in the Champions League, proving he can hang at every level. This boy is special.
2. Robert Lewandowski (-)
"This is either madness... or brilliance."
"It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide." (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)
After a minor hiccup against Werder Bremen, Lewandowski was back among the goals in midweek as he opened the scoring in Bayern Munich's 3-1 win over Red Bull Salzburg.
Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to earn him top spot in the rankings.
1. Harry Kane (-)
"Today, God has kissed our eyes." (House of Sand and Fog)
With chances at a premium against City, Kane was forced to rely on his work rate and creativity to lead Spurs to victory, and he executed Jose Mourinho's plan to perfection.
The world's most complete striker didn't assist partner-in-crime Son this week, but he did put one on a plate for Giovani Lo Celso.
He's now contributed to 24 goals in 15 games, which probably explains why Spurs are title contenders this year.