Manchester United. You've probably heard of them, right?
They're this massive, massive club - one of the biggest brands in the entire world - and they have a rich history of boasting some of the finest attacking talent of all time. Yes, things have gone a bit downhill recently, but can they really get worse?
As it turns out, yes. Yes things really could get worse - if you believe everything you read, that is.
With Marcus Rashford sidelined with a back injury, United are on the lookout for a new striker (again), and Tuttosport claim that 35-year-old Boca Juniors forward Carlos Tevez has emerged as a potential saviour.
Wow. Okay then.
Tevez, of course, racked up 34 goals and 14 assists in 99 appearances for the Red Devils between 2007 and 2009, and there is said to be a belief that, 11 years after leaving the club, he would be able to do that again, despite the fact that he has not managed to hit more than nine goals in a single season since 2014/15.
Fortunately, The Athletic's Laurie Whitwell insists that the link to Tevez is completely fictitious. United have never considered bringing him back, but it really speaks volumes of the current situation at Old Trafford that that is even suggested as a remote possibility.
Again, Whitwell quickly moved to dismiss both stories, although he did confess that there could be an ounce of truth in there somewhere. That's worrying, to say the least.
Ighalo, who currently plays his football in China with Shanghai Shenhua, managed ten goals in 19 appearances across an injury hit campaign last year, whereas Slimani has seven goals in 14 games out on loan with Monaco.
They are both decent numbers, but would you really say they are the 'quality' signings which Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admitted the club are looking for?
Things are not great for United right now. Fans have lost all optimism and hope for the future, and moves for any of these three strikers would almost certainly tip them over the edge.