Let's be honest. We are all getting a but bored of actual football by now, aren't we?
All our hearts truly crave is the hotly anticipated return of the #Gossip, right?
Well, whether that's true or not, they're back; and there's some speculative gold for you to sink your teeth into.
Stick the kettle on but sod the tea bag, stick these into your oversized Sports Direct mug and drink them in. It's rumours time, baby.
Alfredo Morelos Rubbishes Aston Villa Links
With an uncanny knack of getting sent off as much as he hits the back of the net (untrue but he does receive a lot of red cards), Rangers' Alfredo Morelos has naturally been getting linked with a host of sides over the past few windows.
Having netted 50 goals in his last 72 matches for the Gers, the likes of Aston Villa have been tipped to hand the Colombian a crack of the Premier League whip.
Speculation increased that a January departure may be on the cards, however, the 23-year-old, speaking to Antena 2 (via Birmingham Mail) has insisted no contact has been made with any clubs for such a move.
He said: "There is much speculation about my departure, many teams that would be offering a good amount of money for me. I have not talked to anyone, but if God allows it I think that many clubs can come for good performances. But no, I've had no contact with anyone."
Left that door open though, didn't he? Sneaky, sneaky.
Premier League Duo in Battle Over Huddersfield Striker
To put it in layman's terms, Huddersfield were pretty dreadful last season. Which is why they were relegated to the Championship. Stop if I'm getting too technical.
However, the one shining light during their descent, which has since carried over into this season, has been their 22-year-old striker Karlan Grant.
He's already hit nine goals in 15 league matches this season, prompting The Sun to claim that Bournemouth and Wolves are to embark on a 'transfer battle' to secure his signature in January.
There might well be some substance to this since the forward is in form, but he isn't going to dislodge Raul Jimenez or Callum Wilson anytime soon, is he?
Terriers boss Dan Cowley's response to supposed interest in Grant? Well...
"I only worry if other clubs don't want my players because it's a bit like having a girlfriend, isn't it?
West Ham 'Monitoring' Rosenborg Left-Back
In glorious, no-nonsense form, the Mail claim that West Ham are keeping tabs on Norway and Rosenborg left-back Birger Meling ahead of a 'potential' move.
That's it. Read into it what you want.
Currently on the books in that department at the London Stadium are Aaron Cresswell and Arthur Masuaku.
Meling may be a good fit, we don't know, nobody watches the Norwegian league outside of Norway, so we'll take their word for it.
Liverpool Impressed With Genk Star After Recent Outing at Anfield
For the second time in two weeks, Liverpool took on Genk in the Champions League, emerging victorious on both occasions with an aggregate score of 6-2. But fear not, Reds fans, it isn't a defender that caught the eye, rest assured.
Oh no, playmaker Sander Berge impressed Jurgen Klopp so much that he told the Norwegian star he was 'an interesting player, a very interesting player' in the aftermath of the Reds' 2-1 win.
So now, naturally, Norway-based outlet VG have put two and two together to equal GOSSIP.
The basis for their speculation comes after the commentator on Belgian TV during the match said an agreement is edging closer with an unnamed club to sign the player in the coming January window.
Furthermore, apparently both of Berge's agents were at Anfield. Therefore, it is with 100% certainty that Berge is going to Liverpool in January. No shadow of a doubt.
Mason Mount Distances Himself From Barça & Real Madrid Talk
Basically, in case you missed this story, a former teammate of Mason Mount's at SBV Vitesse said that the Chelsea youngster could play for one of either Real Madrid or Barcelona in the future.
Hardly front-page stuff.
Nevertheless, Mount still took time to acknowledge his former teammate's words, as quoted by the Express, but shrugged off such premature suggestions.
"I saw what Mitchell said. I’m obviously very close to him – we had a very close bond. He’s a brilliant player," he said. "But my focus is on Chelsea and this is my first year, so I don’t look too far ahead. My focus is on the next game, that’s kind of how far I look ahead.”
Man Utd Closely Monitoring Dwight McNeil's Performances at Burnley
English? Check. Young? Check. United fan? Check. Better than what they've got at Old Trafford? Hmmm.
But heck, time will tell, and there is no doubting that Dwight McNeil has been Burnley's brightest spark this season, having broken into the first-team fold during the last campaign.
Despite being released from United aged 14, The Sun claim Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been sending scouts to watch the 19-year-old with the belief he could perform anywhere across the forward line.
They'd need to cough up some dough, though. That's because the Clarets have supposedly slapped a £35m price tag on the winger to fend off any interest.
Working on the basis that United are, in fact, interested, of course.