It's Halloween and you wanna know something truly terrifying?
We're already only two months away from the transfer window creaking opening once again, with all its ghoulish madness.
Here's some of the #goss that has risen from the depths this week...
Man Utd Scouts Head to Italy for 'Generational Talent'
The Sun boast an exclusive that Man Utd sent scouts to watch Brescia's teenage sensation Sandro Tonali (pictured above practising for the ski jump) in the goalless draw with Fiorentina a couple of weeks back.
Despite the lack of goals on show, the travelling scouts to Lombardy were supposedly impressed by the 19-year-old, who is one part Andrea Pirlo two parts Gennaro Gattuso.
The Sun's 'source' said: "We have known about Tonali for 18 months but our Italian scouts say he has gone to the next level and United need to get involved - he could be a generational talent."
United will face fierce competition with just about every major European club also keeping track of Tonali's progress.
Meanwhile, Brescia president and mentalist Massimo Cellino publicly set a €300m price tag for the midfielder. So, good luck with that, Ed Woodward.
Newcastle Close to Deal for Sissoko (No, Not That One)
The Sun also have gossip on Newcastle's January transfer plans claiming the Magpies are 'ready to sign' Ibrahima Sissoko from Strasbourg for £13m.
If you don't know too much about this latest footballing Sissoko, The Sun helpfully add that he is 'strapping', 'towering' and 'physical', seemingly going to town on his reported height given the limited information on his Wikipedia page.
They also claim that Newcastle plan is to have the 22-year-old 'on board for the start of the window'. Make of that what you will.
Leicester, Watford & Boro in for Non-League Sensation
Now if Ali Dia taught us anything, it's that signing a top player's cousin is always a good idea.
Ronald Sobowale, whose cousin is David Alaba (he actually is to be fair), is being 'tracked' by Leicester City and Watford among many others, according to the Daily Mail.
The 22-year-old is a forward, who was on Chelsea's books alongside Tammy Abraham before being released at the age of 15.
He is currently banging in the goals for Whyteleafe in the Bet Victor South East League (the eighth tier of English football).
Could he be the next Jamie Vardy you ask? Well, how many Red Bulls does he drink a day and is his wife a grass? These are the important questions Middlesbrough, who have taken him on trial, are surely asking.
AC Milan Still Interested in Dejan Lovren
Over in Italy, Tuttosport (best served with a pinch of salt) are reporting that Milan could come back in for Liverpool centre back and hubris enthusiast Dejan Lovren.
During the summer it seemed touch and go whether Lovren would remain a Liverpool player but he did, despite being reduced to largely backup status.
However, with Joel Matip out injured, 30-year-old Lovren - a World Cup finalist, it must be said - has enjoyed a run back in the team and (crucially) wasn't part of the defence that conceded five at home to Arsenal the other night.
Tuttosport suggest that Milan will make an approach in January if Mattia Caldara's recovery from injury shows no sign of speeding up.
Far be it from this writer to suggest another ageing, expensive, injury-prone star is not really the sort of transfer Milan should be pursuing right now.
Barcelona Like Juventus Star, But Not Enough?
Over in Barcelona, they seem pretty set for attacking options, you'd think.
Lionel Messi alone is more than enough for any team, but then there's also Antoine Griezmann, Luis Suarez and Ansu Fati now. It is quite the embarrassment of riches.
However, you can never have too much of a good thing apparently with Mundo Deportivo outlining that Juventus' Federico Bernardeschi is 'liked' at Barça who collect attackers like fridge magnets.
MD's report claims that Bernardeschi was offered up to Barça in a part-exchange for Ivan Rakitic but that deal failed to come off because of financial squabbling.
Bernardeschi remains on the Barça radar, but he is no longer a priority, say MD...So they like him. But they don't like like him.