90min's Premier League Hall of Fame: Class of 2015
Now we're talking. This is the Top of the Pops. The crème de la crème. The Old Trafford tunnel bust-ups. The once esteemed Premier League rivalry that unearthed some of the finest footballers the greatest league in the world has ever seen.
We've inducted some powerhouses into 90min's Hall of Fame so far.
But can you really say this lot aren't the finest of the fine?
A punditry stalwart.
Macclesfield Town's greatest-ever manager.
The true world-beater of the Class of '92.
Roy Keane's greatest nemesis.
Manchester United's transfer saviour.
This, ladies and gentleman, is the greatest ceremony you will ever witness.
Take to your seats please. This is the Class of 2015.
Gary Neville
Premier League Clubs | Years Played |
---|---|
Manchester United | 1992-2011 |
We kick the proceedings off with the greatest player-turned-manager-turned-pundit that this glorious nation has ever produced. Gary Neville.
As he walks up to the stage, mic in hand, commentary is heard over the PA. But, it's a familiar voice - it's Neville's.
No need for introductions, he's doing it himself.
Hailing his technique and balance and he puts one foot in front of the other, his epic monologue reels off his countless Premier League successes, with a PowerPoint presentation in the background detailing each of his achievements compared to dear, close friend Jamie Carragher.
In the crowd a beleaguered Carragher whistles and jeers as his title tally is put to shame by Neville's eight league crowns. But Neville wouldn't have it any other way. He's in his element.
As he receives his reward, Carragher continues to heckle, but to no avail. After a ten-minute standing ovation for his services to United and unrivalled success across the division, he has time to throw one quick glance Carragher's way.
"I want the news, not the weather, Jamie."
Sol Campbell
Premier League Clubs | Years Played |
---|---|
Tottenham | 1992-2001 |
Arsenal | 2001-2006 & 2010 |
Portsmouth | 2006-2009 |
Newcastle United | 2010-2011 |
*Ashford & Simpsons's 'Solid' bellows out through the auditorium's speakers*
Sol Campbell makes his way to the stage, suited and booted with his shirt tucked in so far its hanging out his trouser legs. He doesn't care though, he's Sol. He's Solid. He's Sol Campbell. And he's invincible.
After being greeted by Arsene Wenger, Campbell proceeds to thank the club he played the most career games for, Arsenal. There is exasperation in the audience as that fact simply isn't true. But Campbell doesn't care. It's controversial. And he loves it.
What follows is a two-hour acceptance speech in which Campbell reflects on the importance of leaving the EU and how Urs Meier should have been stripped of his position following the events of 24 June 2004. His passion is unwavering.
It all draws to a close eventually, however, with the England and Premier League legend spilling his glass of champagne all over the podium. Unbeknownst to him though, his shoelace is undone. As he goes to pick up the shards of glass from the floor, he slips. The crowd stand in awe as Campbell slides across the stage, continuing out the side door and into the carpark where some fortunately placed tarmac brings an end to his misfortune.
Nicky Butt
Premier League Clubs | Years Played |
---|---|
Manchester United | 1992-2004 |
Newcastle United | 2004-2010 |
With confusion still reigning around the audience, Sir Alex Ferguson makes his way onto the stage to calm proceedings.
Naturally, everyone's ears perk up. The unsung hero of the Manchester United of old is introduced, as a stone-cold Nicky Butt enters the fray in his Salford City tracksuit and beanie.
The glory of the occasion gets to him, and all in watching are blessed with a twitch of Butt's right lip that resembles what would appear to be a smile. It's emotional.
The tough-tackling Mancunian looks proudly upon his award. But wait, it's not over.
No, on walks die-hard United fan Eamonn Holmes with a special announcement. He tells Butt and all in attendance to cast their eyes towards the big screen.
David Beckham's face lights up the room. The room falls silent. From his Los Angeles mansion he offers his congratulations to his former teammate, claiming nobody is more worthy of such a prestigious award from such a prestigious organisation.
Butt sheds a tear.
Patrick Vieira
Premier League Clubs | Years Played |
---|---|
Arsenal | 1996-2005 |
Manchester City | 2010-2011 |
The Irish and the French have a fairly conflict-less past. No major animosities between the nations. No spats of note.
However, two-footed challenges and hands on necks...well, yes, there's been a lot of those.
He's read the lineup, Patrick Vieira knows Mr. Keane isn't being inducted today. But if the former Arsenal captain has learned anything from his Premier League years it's that Mr. Keane doesn't do organised. He likes chaos. He thrives on it. And so does Vieira.
Question marks are already being raised among the befuddled onlookers. Dressed for the occasion from head to ankle, aside from his shoes, which are 2005 adidas Predator Pulsion boots.
You know there's only one thing on his mind.
With one eye on the lookout, the PA announcer begins the ceremony.
"And here to present the award to Patrick Vieira is...*muffles & commotion*....*silence*........ROY F*****G KEANE!"
Sprinting at full force from the side of the stage, Keane begins by trying to launch the award at his arch nemesis, who dodges with ease. The pair come to blows like untamed tigers, ripping their shirts off and wrestling to the floor, as an onlooking Cesc Fabregas launches his Michelin-starred Pepperoni pizza into the mix.
It's a warzone on the stage. Vieira and Keane are forcefully ushered into the tunnel leading to the changing rooms.
Where does it go from here?
Edwin van der Sar
Premier League Clubs | Years Played |
---|---|
Fulham | 2001-2005 |
Manchester United | 2005-2011 |
What's this? With his gloves on and lurking in the background, Edwin van der Sar emerges with trophy in hand. Having caught Keane's woefully attempted throw of the award, the perfect segway into the Dutchman's induction comes about with seamless transition.
Supreme nice guy and all-round good fella, Van der Sar soothes the mood in the stands with his hilarious anecdotes about Patrice Evra's never-ending changing room pranks at Old Trafford.
He goes on to reflect on his illustrious career, speaking of his Champions League final heroics in 2008 and wooing the crowd with his soft Dutch twang and gentle demeanour.
With the curtain about to be drawn on another memorable night in Hall of Fame history, Van der Sar would like to make one final announcement to all at home and in attendance.
*Ed Woodward's eyes triple in size, his palms begin to sweat, his phone already begins dialling the Ajax boardroom to discuss compensation*
"Yes," Van der Sar exclaims.
"I'd just like to thank 90min for hosting such a fabulous event. Their hospitality has been stupendous and I'm honoured to have been inducted on this most glorious of days."
*Ed Woodward slithers off towards the exit door*