A maverick, an artist, a wordsmith, a baller - Wayne Rooney is only one of these things.
In his prime, Rooney was one of the world's greatest players, a tactically-flexible forward who could fit into nearly any system and still look like the best on the pitch.
Recent years, particularly in the social media age, have been less kind to him, however. While he is still fondly remembered for what he did on the pitch, he's amassed quite the reputation off it for the random assortment of thoughts he posted on Twitter.
So, to honour him on his 34th birthday, here are 34 of the best tweets written by Wayne Rooney. You. Are. Welcome.
34 - All of the Banter
Ha, classic Wayne and Ashley with all of their banter!
33 - ITK Rooney
Can you imagine a top player doing this nowadays? Easy fine from the FA for tapping up.
32 - Moyeseh
We wonder what Wayne Rooney thinks of David Moyes now, though his opinion of Phil Neville probably remains the same.
31 - Now, Not Snow
This is exactly why Twitter doesn't need an 'edit tweet' feature.
30 - Pro Boxing Trainer
'Do not touch Willie.' Good advice!
29 - Rooney on the Decks
You know when players get asked who is in charge of the dressing room playlist? We're hoping that Rooney was in charge when Manchester United were sweeping up titles.
28 - Cheeky Nonkey
A nice family day out to see the nonkeys.
27 - Why the Long Face?
Well, it's a catchy name, we'll give him that.
26 - Fun Facts With Wazza
Staunch Evertonian and Red Devil mocks Liverpool in a slightly obvious and delightfully typo-riddled way. Lovely.
25 - Giant Pantaloons
Some wholesome Piers Morgan bashing. This won't be the last instance of it in this list.
24 - Don't Even Know
You try and figure it out.
23 - TMI
Yeah, that's it, just try and imagine what Wayne Rooney's farts smell like.
22 - The Other Football
Safe to say Wayne Rooney is not a fan of the NFL.
21 - Boring, Boring Philip
Think we all feel the same way about Phil Neville by now.
20 - Taking on a Manchester City Fan
Turns out Rooney does not respond kindly to having his weight questioned. Duly noted, fatso.
19 - Wind-Up Merchant
Halcyon days remembering when former Real Madrid defender Pepe was the most aggressive man in football, and Rooney let him have a piece of his mind.
18 - Concert-Goer
Here are two of the biggest names (and weirdest heads) in their respective fields looking like they've gone down to their local for a pint or two in Stourbridge.
17 - Five Colours in His Hair
After a ringing endorsement about Phil Jones earlier, Rooney here manages to somehow tweet a parody account of his instead asking for hairdressing information. Peak 2011.
16 - A Bit of Karaoke
Seven songs? Can you seriously imagine Rooney singing seven songs on karaoke? What would they even be? Presumably some One D and Whitney...
15 - #RiskEverything
Ahead of Real Madrid's Champions League final in 2014, Rooney wished the best of luck to former teammate Cristiano Ronaldo, before adding a Nike campaign slogan on the end.
14 - Beating Arsenal
After a lacklustre United side had managed to beat Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium, Rooney took to Twitter to discuss the game, initially getting the scoreline wrong and then goading Piers Morgan.
13 - FIFA Legend
As someone who graced the cover for years, Rooney played a lot of EA Sports' FIFA, and brags to the world that he can't be stopped. Not even by Nani...or his twins?
12 - Loving Keith Lemon
Because obviously Wayne Mark Rooney watched Celebrity Juice. Obviously.
11 - Won't Tell You Again
Here we are, the birth of a classic internet meme - 'Won't tell u again.'
10 - Salt in the Wound
After a summer-long saga which eventually saw Robin van Persie leave Arsenal for United, Rooney's reaction was a simple but effective one.
9 - Rooney's GCSE Results
The initial tweet may have been deleted, but screenshots from the time show that the culprit was asking if Rooney had any GCSEs, and he was blunt in his response. There you go kids, stay out of school.
8 - Drogba's Diving
Toward the backend of Chelsea's Champions League-winning campaign, Didier Drogba's reputation for diving and play-acting became fairly widespread.
7 - Hair We Go
Rooney's hair transplant back in 2011 was initially only speculation until the big man came out confirmed it.
6 - Too Early for Pasta
This is it, the big bad boys, the truly greatest tweets of Wayne Rooney, starting with his opinions on early kick-offs and early morning linguine.
5 - Simple Pleasures
A simple but effective review of Rowan Atkinson's hit character.
4 - Carpool
We think this was meant to be a text to Rio Ferdinand. Just a thought.
3 - Leg.
2 - Fighting With Myself
After offering a fan out on Twitter, Rooney mistakenly replies to himself and makes quite the threat.
1 - I Wanna Run to You