90min

Twitter Melts Down as Coleen Rooney Traps Rebekah Vardy in Instagram Sting

By Max Cooper

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I spy with my little eye, a flooded basement and a (heavily-pregnant) Instagram mole. 

We all may deny and condemn it, but if we're honest, we love a bit of handbags between footballers. But when there's a spat between WAGs, on social media, with spy-work involved... during an international break - you can't ask for more really. 

You already know the story, but I'm obliged to pad out the word count so, here's what happened..........(ten ellipses for dramatic effect).

Coleen Rooney was annoyed that her private information was being leaked to The Sun, and the 33-year-old became suspicious of her private Instagram followers - one in particular - and laid a trap to catch the culprit red-handed. 

Her cunning plan (involving a flooded basement and gender selection in Mexico??) bore fruit, and Rooney declared on ​Twitter that the mole was in fact..........Rebekah Vardy, wife of ​Leicester City striker ​Jamie Vardy! Suspense of Hitchcock proportions, a plot twist to match The Usual Suspects. 

That's where it all ended really, nothing to see here. 

Oh wait. It proper kicked off online. ​​And everyone was there for it. 

Rooney executed her prose to perfection, and the final line was a hammer blow that no one saw coming. Literary history was made. 

Coleen's fool-proof plan may have had its doubters, but once VAR intervened, there was only one possible outcome. 

​Wayne's wife earned the respect of many for her impressive investigative skills, catching out Rebekah hook, line and sinker.

I knew it was you, Vardy. pic.twitter.com/h5oMOCqsKZ

— Greg Johnson (@gregianjohnson)October 9, 2019

Vardy, She Wrote. pic.twitter.com/AkCrz3jq5n

— Brian Spancock (@BrianSpanner1)October 9, 2019

Some of us even had bigger plans for Mrs Rooney. 

Others were just huge fans of the cojones on our Coleen. 

Coleen Rooney after exposing Rebekah Vardy pic.twitter.com/emKyiPxc6k

— Imran khan (@KhanUR1983)October 9, 2019

With all of Coleen's fake news (did I mention gender selection in Mexico???) and perfectly laid traps, we all began to question what is real, and what information we had fallen suckers to. 

As the war gained immediate traction, even the Twitter heavyweights were getting involved. 

Whilst the entire online world was basking in the dropping of the biggest bombshell in history, shots were fired back, and we just weren't ready. 

Rebekah Vardy was not in the mood for a party. 

VAR was called upon once more to clarify the excuses pulled out of the fire by Vardy, but Stockley Park was having none of it.

VAR check after Vardy scores by using the 'I am hacked' and pregnancy card. pic.twitter.com/dmoftYbKYa

— Elroy (@figgystein)October 9, 2019

It's safe to say, we weren't really buying the old 'hacked account' excuse from Beks. 

The whole of Twitter shared a simultaneous sharp intake of breath when Rebekah wheeled out the 'pregnancy' card, and once again, we were having none of it. 

It was game, set and match to the Rooneys, as the Vardy's reply fell on deaf ears. Can we have one of these every international break, please?