Ahh, the Premier League. The Greatest League in the World™. Where anyone can beat anyone.
Where winless Wolves can beat domestic treble goliaths Manchester City. Where an Irish teenager can down last season's Champions League finalists with a brace.
Where plucky Manchester United can hold out for 72 minutes at St James' Park before finally succumbing to Steve Bruce's nigh-on irrepressible Newcastle side.
It's why we love it so. Well, at least part of the reason why. Mainly it's just the memes.
Fear and Loathing in Manchester
There's not much left to say at this point, is there? There's only so many times you can laugh at Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's driving abilities. And by that, I mean there's only so much time left before he gets the chop. So drink it in. Every last drop.
Longstaff 1-0 Neednewstaff— Duncan Alexander (@oilysailor) October 6, 2019
Yes, it's probably time for a blood sacrifice.
But what happens after Solskjaer is sent packing? A contingency plan must be set in place. Thankfully, I know just the man.
Kepa Arrizabalaga's number two.
Man Utd need to take a leaf out of Chelsea’s book and make their Spanish international goalkeeper their new manager.— Scott Saunders (@_scottsaunders) October 7, 2019
Fantastic Brothers & Where to Find Them
Man Utd need to take a leaf out of Chelsea’s book and make their Spanish international goalkeeper their new manager.— Scott Saunders (@_scottsaunders) October 7, 2019October 7, 2019
As for the Magpies? Well. They're golden. All together now: "Steve Bruce's golden black and white army, bring yer spy novels and yer 35-year-old son who plays centre half!"
But rather than one of Bruce's relatives bailing Newcastle out, it was Manchester United target Sean Longstaff's, Matty, who showed just how long his staff really is with a thunderbolt of a debut goal.
This is not just any Longstaff, this is M & S Longstaff pic.twitter.com/EpE2pf2MEW— Tom Victor (@tomvictor) October 6, 2019
It Was the Best of Times, it Was the Spurst of Times
Ah, another crisis! And this is just number two of three! Strap in boys. It's gonna be a Spursy ride. Just look at that picture. W O R L D C L A S S B O T T L I N G.
In amongst all this bottle behaviour, a quick shoutout to the Brighton fans. Excellent work.
Brighton fans are chanting “We want 7!” — Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) October 5, 2019
But, seriously, if you want some bottle back, lads, why don't you just ask? Qu'est que c'est le pire que peut occure, ami - in broken French - rite?
Mr Wenger it is.
And, speaking of Arsene, this is what you've done, Spurs. These are the consequences of your actions. Remember that.
City of #GodOut
Man City’s 19/20 title challenge: pic.twitter.com/FLObmsi7Fz— Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) October 6, 2019
A'VE AD ENUFF ROBBIE. HE'S GOTTA GO. THERE'S NUFFIN THEREE ROBBIE. No, seriously, apart from the Robbie stuff, this is what fans were saying about Pep Guardiola. Sure, some of them were clearly born in 2010, but still, they were saying it. Shamelessly.
I’ve been a Man City supporter my entire life and I’ve never seen such a bad performance, enough is enough!! #pepout— Daniel McGill (@danielmcgill996) October 6, 2019
Other people did their talking before the game. This was not such a good idea either.
One thing's for sure, though. Nicolas Otamendi is complete and utter trash.
Now, I know we promised you nothing but that sweet, pure Premier League action this week, but we lied. And that's mainly because we didn't want you to expect to see Luis Figo in Guildford which, if we'd put 'from around the world' you obviously would have got. Who wouldn't?
But we're not in Guildford any more, Toto. We're AD ASTRA, baybee. And I'm glAD ASTRA that Luis, with one small snap for man, was able to capture such a mAD ASTRA moment as this.
In other - definitely extraterrestrial - news, Diego Maradona is back dancing, after winning his first game in charge of Gimnasia. And what a joy it is.
And Maradona as Brent? Well, that's just glorious.
There's a weigh of intellect behind that dancing though, isn't there?
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