Another day, another deluge of transfer news. But, fear not, this page will not be filled purely with words on Slabhead and how much he's actually worth to clubs from Manchester - in fact, if you're lucky, he might not feature at all!
No, here we have a gluttony of gossip with global proportions. We're worldwide, baby, and we love it. Let's GO.
Saints' Bid for Milan's Andre Silva Debunked
And, to start with, something as cultural as it gets, IMHO, and that's intercontinental transfer rumours getting debunked. Bon Appetite! Essentially, the bene folk at Gazzetta dello Sport have been peddling rumours of late that Southampton had submitted a loan bid for AC Milan striker Andre Silva, with a view to a permanent transfer next summer.
However, according to the Daily Echo
Bournemouth Join Celtic in Race for Luton's Jack Stacey
Bournemouth have joined Scottish champions Celtic in the hunt for Luton Town's versatile defender Jack Stacey, as per the Daily Mail.
Stacey, who was instrumental in Luton's promotion to the Championship last season, is ostensibly a right back but can also play in midfield. And, though he hasn't yet shown a proclivity for central defending, he could come to the Cherries in the wake of Nathan Ake's exit, with the Dutchman strongly linked with a £40m move to Manchester City, after the English champions turned their attention away from Harry Maguire...I'm sorry, I tried, I really did.
Raphael Guerreiro Close to Completing €15m PSG Switch
Paris Saint-Germain are closing in on the €15m purchase of Raphael Guerreiro from Borussia Dortmund, after contract talks broke down between the Portuguese international and the Bundesliga side, according to Bild
Guerreiro has been a key cog in the Dortmund
Wolves in for Gremio Defender Walter Kannemann Amid Arsenal Interest
Wolves have begun talks with Walter Kannemann's agent over a potential move to Molineux this summer, though negotiations with the club are yet to open.
According to Globo Esporte, the Gremio centre back, who is also a target for Arsenal (join the club!) as a replacement for the peerless Shkodran Mustafi, as well as Southampton, would be worth around £13.5m. So, a reasonable sum for the Saints and Nuno Espirito Santo, and a bankrupting one for Unai Emery and co.
Spurs, Arsenal & West Ham Competing Over €35m-Rated Franck Kessie
It's funny isn't it, we keep getting regaled with stories of Arsenal's meagre finances, yet they're still rumoured with every player going, and preferably ones that would cost as close to their total budget of £40m as possible.
In any case, according to the allllllways-reliable Tuttosport, as relayed by Sport Witness, the Gunners are still embroiled in a three-club tussle alongside local rivals Tottenham - who, despite spending £55m on Tanguy Ndombele, are just desperate for another central midfielder - and West Ham for the €35m signing of AC Milan's Franck Kessie.
As of yet, no bids have been submitted, but according to the Turin publication, the player is perfect for all three(!!!), so it's only a matter of time, right?
Liverpool Contemplating Junior Firpo Deal Follow Betis' Bid for Divock Origi
Yes, Divock Origi is a legend on Merseyside, but is he a legend worth keeping around? The Belgian achieved cult status with his catalogue of crucial goals last season, but an offer from Real Betis has both club and player contemplating a departure.
For Origi, the reasons for such an exit are simple - increased gametime ahead of Euro 2020. And, according to ESPN, Liverpool's skin in the game comes in the form of full back Junior Firpo, who they are keen to include in any negotiations about the forward.
Isaac Hayden Still Keen to Leave Newcastle This Summer
Promising midfielder Isaac Hayden is still keen on leaving Newcastle this summer for personal reasons, after handing in a transfer request last year.
Hayden, who shined in parts for the Magpies last season, is desperate to relocate closer to his partner and daughter, following her premature birth.
And, according to the Chronicle, the club are waiting for a sufficient offer to come in for the 24-year-old, amid interest from West Ham, and would also look to sign a replacement before they sold the player.