As a football commentator, you know you've made it when you finally get to work at a World Cup. The feeling of showing up to your first game, seeing supporters from all over the world gathered around the stadium, taking your seat in the commentary box...it must be magical.
And then you look at the team sheet and see 'Jakub Błaszczykowski'. And you cry.
Not every player on this list is as difficult to pronounce as the Polish winger, but his 19-letter name pales in comparison to these long-winded names. We can't guarantee that this list is exhaustive, except in the sense that you'll be exhausted after working your way to the bottom.
12. Bastian Schweinsteiger (21)
With exactly 500 appearances for Bayern Munich, Bastian Schweinsteiger is regarded as one of the all-time great Bundesliga midfielders. In 14 years at Bayern he won eight league titles, seven German Cups, and the Champions League in 2012/13.
Only three players have made more appearances for Germany than Schweinsteiger, who won 121 caps for Die Mannschaft in a 12-year international career. He put in a man of the match display in the 2014 World Cup final as Germany lifted the trophy for the first time in 24 years.
11. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (21)
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has quite the footballing heritage. His grandfather Neville Chamberlain (not the World War I era prime minister) made nearly 300 Football League appearances, his father Mark was a former England international, and his brother Christian plays for Notts County.
Alex is the star of the family though, playing for Arsenal for six seasons before joining Liverpool last year. He has also made 32 England appearances so far, although a serious knee injury meant he was unable to participate in the 2018 World Cup.
10. Stelios Giannokopoulos (21)
You knew there'd a Greek on here somewhere, didn't you? It won't be the last. Stelios Giannokopoulos is best known to English fans for his five-year spell at Bolton between 2003 and 2008, when he scored 28 goals in 177 appearances.
He was also part of the Greece squad that unexpectedly won Euro 2004. He started four of Greece's games at the tournament, including the win over hosts Portugal in the final. He retired from international duty in 2008 with 77 caps.
9. Bradley Wright-Phillips (21)
Another player with a strong footballing background, Bradley Wright-Phillips is the son of former England and Arsenal striker Ian Wright, and the brother of Shaun Wright-Phillips. The brothers were together at Manchester City before Shaun went on to play for Chelsea while Bradley dropped down the Football League.
However, the two were later reunited at New York Red Bulls and Bradley has become something of a legend in the Big Apple, 124 goals making him the leading goalscorer in club history.
8. Giovanni van Bronckhorst (22)
Giovanni van Bronckhorst was a household name during his playing career as he plied his trade for Rangers, Arsenal and Barcelona, bookended by two spells at Feyenoord. He also made 106 international appearances, although his career ended in bittersweet fashion as Netherlands reached the final of the 2010 World Cup but lost to Spain.
Van Bronckhorst has continued to achieve great things as a manager, leading Feyenoord to their first Eredivisie title of the 21st century in 2016/17.
7. Cameron Borthwick-Jackson (23)
Cameron Borthwick-Jackson has been on the books of Manchester United since he was six years old, and he was one of the youngsters integrated into the first team squad by Louis van Gaal during his final season at Old Trafford.
He has dropped off the radar a bit since Jose Mourinho took over, spending time on loan at Wolves, Leeds and now Scunthorpe.
6. Kévin Théophile-Catherine (23)
Taking the surnames of his Martiniquais father and his Réunionais mother, Kevin Théophile-Catherine had Cardiff's shirt manufacturers working overtime when he moved to South Wales in 2013.
He played 28 games during the Bluebirds' ill-fated first spell in the Premier League before joining Saint-Etienne the following year. These days he plays for Dinamo Zagreb, giving the Croatian videprinter something to think about with a goal 22 minutes into his league debut.
5. Sotiris Papagiannopoulos (23)
English commentators breathed a huge sigh of relief in September 2016 when Swansea decided against signing Sotiris Papagiannopoulos - who is actually Swedish by nationality - after a trial period.
However, he did eventually set foot on English soil when Ostersunds were drawn against Arsenal in last season's Europa League and Papagiannopoulos played the full 90 minutes in both legs. And who should be on co-commentary duty for BT Sport but Robbie Savage. There is a God.
4. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (23)
That's Pierre-Emerick Emiliano François Aubameyang to you. Since joining Arsenal from Borussia Dortmund in January, the 29-year-old has chipped in with 19 goals, forming a formidable quasi-partnership with Alexandre Lacazette.
Aubameyang is named partly after his father, Pierre Aubameyang, who made headlines earlier this year when he was appointed manager of the Gabonese national team without being consulted. Aubameyang Jr. was very critical of the Gabonese FA, who later retracted the appointment.
3. Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (23)
By far the most interesting name on this list, former Celtic and Hull striker Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink sounds like a 17th century nobleman - and that isn't too far from the truth.
Two farming families from the Enschede area intermarried in the 1600s, and the two names carried equal social weight, so both were adopted. Four centuries later they still can't make their mind up, much to the chagrin of journalists everywhere.
2. Sokratis Papastathopoulos (24)
Borussia Dortmund's media team had cause for celebration this year as the German side parted with both Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Sokratis Papastathopoulos within six months of each other, with the Greek defender following his former teammate to Arsenal.
Papastathopoulos somehow isn't top of this list, but he's the longest-named Premier League player as he clocks in at 24 letters, which is even more impressive when you consider they're crammed into just two names. No wonder he usually goes by Sokratis.
1. Lazaros Christodoulopoulos (25)
It seems only fitting that a Greek should top this list, and Christodoulopoulos edges out his international teammate with 25 letters, including 18 in his unfathomably long surname. He and Sokratis have played together for Greece many times, as if having one of them on the pitch wasn't bad enough.
Like Sokratis, Christodoulopoulos' surname is too long to fit on the back of a shirt, so he usually wears 'Lazaros' instead.