Ladies and gentlemen, this here is your one-stop shop for all of the latest news on Footballing Christmas - also known as transfer deadline day.
Get involved. Tweet @_scottsaunders your thoughts on your club's business and you might see yourself show up here yourself, and also use the hashtag #90minLive. Brace yourselves...
15:05: THAT'S ALL FROM ME FOLKS
My live blog shift is over, I'm off to do other things...such as continuously laugh at Arsenal.
It's now over to the somewhat able Chris Deeley, who will take you through the final hours of August.
14:58: WOLVES MAKE LOCADIA BID
Tell you what, they're spending their money (masses of money) quite well. This guy will dominate the Championship.
14:55: ALEXIS SANCHEZ HAS STUCK THE KNIFE INTO ARSENAL AND TWISTED IT WITH ABSOLUTE GOLDEN SARCASTIC ACTION
Just look at his last like on Twitter. It's of that fan singing a stupid song asking him to stay. He's off to Manchester City guys.
Alexis Sanchez you absolute hero!! We must assume he is staying. pic.twitter.com/segfllJXou— Matt Verri (@GoonerMV) August 31, 2017
14:51: COUTINHO'S DREAM IS OVER.
Philippe Coutinho's dream of playing for Barcelona has disappeared. Here's Guillem Balague with the latest.
It seems the message has finally arrived to Brazil/Spain and Coutinho's entourage realises he won't go to Barcelona #SnailMail— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) August 31, 2017
14:46: DONE DEAL!
SIGNING: Burnley Football Club is delighted to announce the signing of Nahki Wells on a three-year deal.— Burnley FC (@BurnleyOfficial) August 31, 2017
More to follow... pic.twitter.com/rwAtWAf9WA
Nakhi Wells has signed for Burnley from Huddersfield Town on a three-year deal.
14:46: DONE DEAL!
14:38: EVERTON LOOK FOR BACKUP AT LEFT BACK
TRANSFERS: It's understood that #EFC have made a bid for Napoli's 30-year-old Croatian left back Ivan Strinic— BBC Merseyside Sport (@bbcmerseysport) August 31, 2017
14:31: THAT WENT WELL, DIDN'T IT?
14:15: LOVE A WITTY RIPOSTE FROM A FAN, DON'T WE?
Not falling for that again. I'm going to bed.— Michael (@leeds_talk2) August 31, 2017
14:15: ARSENAL ACCEPT CITY'S OFFER FOR SANCHEZ
Arsenal have ACCEPTED Manchester City's £55m bid plus add ons bid for Alexis Sanchez, according to the Mirror.
14:07: HARRY REDKNAPP IS GOING FULL HARRY REDKNAPP TODAY
Birmingham City manager Harry Redknapp is - despite professing that he's not going to do too much today - busy as he ever is on deadline day.
Jason Lowe has signed on loan, Jota is set to arrive from Brentford and Alex Song is set to sign too. But they've saved the best for now. They've DONE IT.
JACK WILSHERE, PLEASE BLOODY DO IT.
BIRMINGHAM ARE TRYING TO SIGN ALEX SONG AND JACK WILSHERE— Scott Saunders (@_scottsaunders) August 31, 2017
14:04: NEWS IN FROM LIGUE 1
Marseille are set to complete a 20m euro deal to sign Fulham reject Kostas Mitroglou.
14:00: THEY'VE DONE IT, OH MY GOD THEY'VE ACTUALLY DONE IT!
Swansea's website has crashed. That's how well they've done here.
Outstanding work, Swansea City.
13:57: ARSENAL BACK IN FOR LEMAR WITH NINETY MILLION OFFER
It's 2pm, there's still hours remaining, and the latest twist has arrived.
Arsenal are now back in the mix for Thomas Lemar. Julian Draxler? No idea. Alexis Sanchez? Who has a clue? It's getting REAL.
13:52: VIZEH ISN'T TOO KEEN ON NAKHI WELLS...
He's undergoing a medical - here's what Burnley FanVoice dude Vizeh thinks of the deal...
He said: "He adds something more to what Burnley have off the bench. He's not better than Ashley Barnes though, so I'm not sure whether it's worth a £5m outlay just for an impact sub!"
13:48: LET'S ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO LAUGH AT ENGLAND
Joe Hart is starting for England tomorrow. He'll still manage to concede four, even against Malta.
13:45: DETAILS OF CITY'S SANCHEZ BID...
Manchester City's offer for Alexis Sanchez has been revealed to be worth an initial £55m plus an additional £5m in add-ons.
That's not enough is it?
13:30 DONE DEAL!
Watford have signed Orestis Karnezis on loan for the duration of the campaign. Costel Pantilimon out the door, then?
13:28: SANCHO SET FOR DORTMUND
Jadon Sancho has been making noise all summer (or a lack thereof given he's gone AWOL) about his desire to leave Manchester City.
Now, it seems that the player is off to Borussia Dortmund. Not a bad move for the lad.
Borussia Dortmund have agreed a deal with #mcfc for the permanent transfer of Jadon Sancho— James Ducker (@TelegraphDucker) August 31, 2017
13:17: JUST GET THIS SH*T OVER WITH, FFS
Breaking | AS Monaco & PSG have changed their agreement for Kylian Mbappé from a loan to a straight transfer! More follows. (RMC)— Get French Football (@GFFN) August 31, 2017
This one has dragged on for so long that I'm not entirely sure anyone cares any more.
Can PSG do this around FFP rules? Probably not, but whatever. Just sign the kid already.
13:15 LEICESTER ARE GOING TO MAKE US STAY UP LATE AND I'M STARTING TO RESENT THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY USED TO BE A LIKEABLE CLUB
Leicester are still trying to find a replacement for Drinkwater after receiving third Chelsea bid. Going to the wire, this one.— Matt Law (@Matt_Law_DT) August 31, 2017
Leicester aren't ready to sell Danny Drinkwater until they find someone to replace him first, and Matt Law, the Chelsea guy, says it's going to be a late one.
There are people who have to report this Leicester, y'know.
13:14 BRIGHTON REACH AGREEMENT TO LOAN NEWCASTLE'S TIM KRUL
Looks like Tim Krul could be on his way to Brighton on loan, if you believe what Mike Verweij is saying.
Not quite sure what it means for Mat Ryan, but you know...
BREAK: Brighton en Newcastle akkoord over (ver)huur Tim #Krul ... Keeper met trein onderweg— Mike Verweij (@MikeVerweij) August 31, 2017
13:05: NEWCASTLE ON TARGET TO SIGN DEFENSIVE TARGETT
Newcastle have now made an official approach to Southampton to take Matt Targett on loan.— Keith Downie (@SkySports_Keith) August 31, 2017
Newcastle are looking to take Matt Targett on loan from Southampton, as they bid to find as many average players as possible to secure them the 13th placed finish they really want from this season.
Sorry Saints and Newcastle fans, but that's kinda how it is, isn't it?
13:00 COUTINHO IS GOING NOWHERE
Liverpool are not budging on Philippe Coutinho. It looks as though Riyad Mahrez could be closing in on that dream move to Barcelona that the Brazilian has been after for the last month.
Mahrez has landed in Barcelona, and Liverpool are holding their ground and digging their feet in - they will not sell Coutinho.
That's according to Guillem Balague. There really could be no more incomings or outgoings at Liverpool after all...
Coutinho will NOT be sold this transfer window. The message from Liverpool still loud and clear— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) August 31, 2017
12:53: NUMBER 24!
12:50: A MESSAGE FROM OX
Emotional stuff from Oxlade-Chamberlain pic.twitter.com/y4fUgoJBDN— Mike Anstead (@mike_anstead) August 31, 2017
12:48: EVERTON ATTEMPTS TO SIGN PERMA-INJURED PLAYER ARE FAKE NEWS
Lots of talk about Thomas Vermaelen joining Everton on a season-long loan. Not happening, he stays in Barcelona. He had been discussed — Dominic King (@DominicKing_DM) August 31, 2017
Crystal Palace have been linked too...
12:45: ON THE VIRJ OF GOING ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE
Virgil van Dijk is not going anywhere, Liverpool or otherwise. So it seems as though the player is going to spend the next five months (at least) as a really miserable guy.
Southampton are doing to Liverpool what Liverpool are doing to Barcelona...
12:40: LLORENTE TO SPURS IS DONE, BUT NOT OFFICIALLY...
Tottenham are doing bits!
Fernando Llorente has signed for the club on a two-year deal, for a fee of around £12m from Swansea City. That should pave the way for Wilfried Bony to join Swansea.
Spurs look to have beaten Chelsea to his signing, with the player penning a two-year deal with an option for a further year.
Fernando Llorente is at #Spurs having a medical & Vincent Janssen could move to Swansea on loan— John Percy (@JPercyTelegraph) August 31, 2017
12:35: DONE DEAL!
Tottenham have signed a madman. Serge Aurier has joined on a five-year deal from Paris Saint-Germain.
This is going to be fun...
12:25: LIVERPOOL FINISHED WITH THEIR BUSINESS AFTER OX DEAL?!
Liverpool confirm Alex Oxlade Chamberlain for 35m. No more incomings expected.... #LFC— Ian Dennis (@Iandennisbbc) August 31, 2017
In reaction to Ian Dennis' tweet that Liverpool will not sign any more players following Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain's arrival, resident Liverpool fans Andy Headspeath and Brendan Hodrien reacted with the following quotes:
AH: "Sh*t off."
Van Dijk and Lemar deals off?!
12:21: BIG DUNC UPDATE
Duncan Castles has provided an update on William Carvalho's proposed transfer to West Ham - which was meant to be "dead" - but the player is said to still be keen on pushing the move through.
They've also been linked with Jack Wilshere today...
12:05: DONE DEEL!
It's not quite Oxlade-Chamberlain calibre, but Rangers have signed Declan John on loan from Championship leaders Cardiff City.
The 22-year-old left-back is the tenth first-team signing of the summer for the Gers, by the way. Talk about upheaval.
12:00: LIVERPOOL SIGN OXLADE-CHAMBERLAIN
The first completed Premier League move of the day - Liverpool have OFFICIALLY COMPLETED the signing of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from Arsenal.
It's thought to be worth £35m initially with £5m in add-ons, on a five or six year deal (Liverpool have just said 'long-term', of course).
11:34: A BIT OF "JUST BANTER" AT THE EXPENSE OF RICHARD KEYS
So the window 'slams shut' today. Count how many times you hear that said. Truth is it simply 'closes'.— Richard Keys (@richardajkeys) August 31, 2017
Richard, it isn't a real window. It does neither.— Macca (@The_Paris_Angel) August 31, 2017
You'd smash it though, wouldn't you Richard?— Adam Booth (@adam4187) August 31, 2017
Turns out that this city wasn't actually built on rock and roll either.— Neil Treacy (@neil_treacy) August 31, 2017
Thanks to Andy Headspeath for pointing it out...
11:28: MORE BUSINESS ACROSS EUROPE
RB Leipzig have completed the signing of Bayer Leverkusen's Kevin Kampl on a four-year deal. He got his hair re-bleached specifically for the photo op.
11:25: JUVENTUS REJECT MASSIVE BARCELONA BID FOR DYBALA
Some news from overnight - Barcelona have had a huge offer for Juventus' Paulo Dybala rejected by the Italian champions, according to the Italian press.
Never going to happen, is it...
BOOM! Barcelona have bid 115 millions of € + 45 millions of € add-ons for Dybala, but Juventus rejected!— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) August 30, 2017
11:19: CHELSEA INCREASE BID FOR DRINKWATER
Chelsea are determined to sign Danny Drinkwater and have returned with a new offer, according to Matt Law.
Question now is, though...who will Drinkwater join instead? Everybody turns down Chelsea!
11:15: MUSTAFI TO STAY AT ARSENAL
Arsenal are actually doing something sensible, by the looks of things.
They've put their foot down on Shkodran Mustafi, and are set to keep him at the club despite reports that Inter were set to sign him on loan. Additionally, Sky have confirmed that they definitely WON'T be signing Riyad Mahrez.
11:05: GO-JAN KRKIC
I'm trying to fit the word 'Go' into as many names as possible today, if these players are actually going.
Speaking of going, Bojan Krkic is going to Alaves on loan from Stoke.
11:03: BIG FAT LIVERPOOL UPDATE
Haven't really mentioned Liverpool too much so far, so here's a big update on a range of deals they're involved in.
First of all, Thomas Lemar. The club are still in discussions with Monaco over a deal for Thomas Lemar, though no deal has yet been reached. This one is going to drag on for hours...
Talks continue nevertheless between Monaco & Liverpool for Thomas Lemar https://t.co/01jAK5qLdd— Get French Football (@GFFN) August 31, 2017
As for Virgil van Dijk, they have not yet made a bid for the Southampton man after sending a grovelling apology in the direction of their feeder club back in June.
A range of other clubs are interested, but perhaps the Reds will turn their attention to VVD when Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain's move is complete. Doing three deals at once has gotta be strenuous work.
Mind you, Peter Moore still has time to tweet nonsense at this time, so it can't be too bad.
I know everyone is interested in what is happening today, but this is becoming beyond ridiculous... pic.twitter.com/vy0PdpBEfY— Peter Moore (@PeterMooreLFC) August 31, 2017
10:55: NOW, THEN...
Get a load of this. Arsenal are in discussions with PSG over a deal for German international Julian Draxler, according to the Mirror's John Cross.
If he's coming in, though, that means Alexis Sanchez is going out...
Arsenal talking to PSG over Draxler, could hold key to Sanchez. Won't sell unless they can get one in... https://t.co/eVE2wtIzwe— John Cross (@johncrossmirror) August 31, 2017
10:50: SPURS ARE GOING TO STEAL LLORENTE FROM CHELSEA AREN'T THEY
All hail Tottenham. They're all set to thieve Fernando Llorente from under Chelsea's noses, as Swansea have accepted a bid for the player.
10:45: ANSWERING YOU ON THE TWITTAH
David Diligiro - @ChefDave132 on Twitter - is wondering whether Manchester United are in the running for Riyad Mahrez.
Given what we know so far, it doesn't seem like United will be doing too much on deadline day, and will leave the rest of the transfer circus act stuff to their rivals. Mahrez could well be moving, but the likes of Chelsea, Barcelona and Tottenham are believed to be the front runners.
United fans may think a Mahrez or Sanchez could be the answer, but Mourinho got his business done early for a reason...
10:38: SOME BUSINESS OUTSIDE OF THE PL...
Juventus' Kwadwo Asamoah is all set to join Galatasaray on a four-year deal, for a fee worth just under 5m euros. Reall puts the Premier League money in perspective, doesn't it?
10:32: DONE DEEL!
QPR have completed the signing of Exeter's David Wheeler. More below for ya...
10:25: HOW'S THIS, BURNLEY FANS?
Will probably ask Vizeh when he comes into the office about this one later, and he'll say he's going to win the Ballon d'Or within three years.
10:22: ANOTHER PLAYER TO ADD TO THE ARSENAL EXODUS?!
Leicester are going for Arsenal's Calum Chambers, according to ORNSTEEEEINNNNN!
Two bids around £20m have been made, but eyes out, guys.
He's not the only one possibly leaving either...
It's good and super-advanced CMS to be fair, so I'm expecting big things. Just like I'm expecting more big things from
10:05: LEEDS DO A SIGNING!!
Leeds United have confirmed the signing of Pawel Cibicki from Swedish side Malmo FF. The 23-year-old has signed a four-year deal and will take the number 22 shirt.
He's also represented both Poland and Sweden at youth level. Ooh, edgy.
10:02: THE OX IS A RED AND WAS A RED BEFORE BUT HE'S A RED AGAIN NOW
Pictures are emerging of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in Liverpool training gear.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is a Red pic.twitter.com/dhNHBuGhs5— 101 Great Goals (@101greatgoals) August 31, 2017
All that we're waiting for now is the official announcement...
09:57: SWANSEA SEE OLIVEIRA BID REJECTED
Swansea look like they're going to be busy today, but BBC's Ian Dennis has confirmed they'll have to try again in their pursuit of Norwich's Nelson Oliveira - as a £12m bid has been turned down.
Swansea City 12m bid for Nelson Oliveira rejected by Norwich City. #DeadlineDay— Ian Dennis (@Iandennisbbc) August 31, 2017
09:50: CITY SET TO UP THEIR BID FOR SANCHEZ
Manchester City are set to up their offer for Arsenal's Alexis Sanchez to a probably-acceptable £70m. Arsenal have turned down offers for him recently, but City have got men on the ground in Chile and are just waiting for Arsenal to give them the green light.
The Sun report that a new bid is in the pipeline...
09:47: FOR THE LOLS
Dwight Gayle just arrived at the Newcastle training ground & realising he was 4 hours early did a U-turn and left. Afternoon training today!— Keith Downie (@SkySports_Keith) August 31, 2017
09:41: BOURNEMOUTH HAVE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY, LADS
09:35: RENAT-GO...ING TO SWANSEA
Bayern's Karl Heinz-Rummenigge has confirmed to Kicker that Renato Sanches will join Swansea on loan #SCFC— Nizaar Kinsella (@NizaarKinsella) August 30, 2017
We're a little late to this one, but it's worth a reminder that Swansea City are set to pull off possibly the greatest deal in the history of football today - by signing Bayern Munich's Renato Sanches on loan.
Bayern's CEO has confirmed the deal is going to happen, so we await confirmation...
Shout out Tom Power for the dad pun.
09:31: DONE DEAL!
On a similar note, Matty Willock has left Manchester United - but it's a loan deal to the Netherlands for him.
Utrecht is lovely, tbf.
**UPDATE: Alex Hammond just called the kid Matty Wilcock. Get out of here while you can, mate.
09:23: DONE DEAL!
The first one of the day is done, and it's an exciting one.
You don't care about this, do you?
09:14: PALACE SWITCH DEFENSIVE TARGETS
Crystal Palace have switched transfer targets after seeing another bid for Liverpool's Mamadou Sakho rejected, and have made a huge offer for Man City's Eliaquim Mangala.
The Sun's Charlie Wyett states it's a bid worth £23m, though the player is not believed to be keen on the move himself. Instead, he wants to join Inter.
09:10: DON'T CARE DEAL OF THE DAY #1
Papy Djilobodji is leaving England for Dijon. Thanks for coming.
09:05: LIVERPOOL SET TO OFFLOAD ORIGI ON LOAN
Liverpool are set to let forward Divock Origi leave the club for a season on loan, with Wolfsburg prepared to pay £6m for the privilege.
Given all the business Liverpool are expected to do today, it's probably a wise move...
Liverpool loan fee for Origi is £6m plus wages. Wolfsburg prepared to pay.— paul joyce (@_pauljoyce) August 30, 2017
09:02: ANOTHER PLAYER CHELSEA AREN'T SIGNING THIS SUMMER IS...
Rafinha. They were never getting him anyway, let's be real.
Bayern Munich are no longer willing to sell Rafinha to Chelsea, who were ready to offer the defender a 3-year deal https://t.co/Ex6VfZeDZg— Get German Football (@GGFN_) August 30, 2017
09:01: EVERTON REJECT LOAN OFFER FOR MIRALLAS FROM WEST HAM
West Ham are probably going to be busy today. Kevin Mirallas has been a little unsettled of late, and the Hammers - who are probably in a worse place than Arsenal at the moment - have looked to take advantage...but to no avail.
09:00: MAHREZ IS PROBS LEAVING LEICESTER AT SOME POINT TODAY PPL
One of the biggest stories of the day is set to involve Riyad Mahrez, who has been allowed to leave the Algerian national team camp to "complete a transfer".
He will not be moving to Arsenal though, as BBC journo David Ornstein has confirmed on Twitter. Man Utd, Barcelona, Tottenham, Roma and AS Monaco are all possible destinations, even while Leicester have yet to receive any new bids.
08:55: YOU KNOW IT'S DEADLINE DAY WHEN....
Nothing quite like a bit of Harry Redknapp hanging out of a window in the morning and some Nico Gaitan crap-news to make us realise that Deadline Day is actually here, is there?
All of this before bloody 9am.
Nico Gaitan has told his agent to listen to late offers.— Sport Witness (@Sport_Witness) August 31, 2017
Now it's deadline day.
Football Christmas has arrived, people. It's transfer deadline day, and this one holds massive promise that it'll be the best one we've ever experienced - except for fans of Arsenal Football Club - with a host of massive deals expected to be rubber stamped.
Me, @_scottsaunders, will ably guide you through the day with all of the latest rumours, confirmed deals, and actual lols as they happen throughout the first part of the day.