We're back with a fresh bunch of rumours for this lovely Wednesday afternoon, and while there's some decent chatter doing the rounds today there's also some rather bloomin' ridiculous stories set to feature.
So read on and laugh, cry, or just sit there without emotion as you hear yet more January transfer drivel. Apologies in advance.
HORNETS TRY LUCK WITH MONTERO
Watford are competing with Everton to sign flying winger Jefferson Montero from Swansea, reported HITC.
TOWNSEND STUCK IN SPURS LIMBO
Talking of Townsend, and the Mirror report that the player is stuck in limbo at Tottenham, as the club are demanding £14m for his signature and won't let him leave on loan.
SAM EYES TWO MORE SIGNINGS
Sunderland manager Sam Allardyce has revealed he's looking to sign two more players this month once the signing of Dame N'Doye is completed, according to the Sunderland Echo.
However, Big Sam admits he will need to offload at least one player in order to do so. He said:
Allardyce is reported to want a new right back at the very least.
CITY MOVE ON DEMBELE
Manchester City have enquired about the availability of young Fulham striker Moussa Dembele, according to Get French Football News.
Dembele is out of contract in the summer and has reportedly received
TWO CLUBS READY £8M GAYLE BIDS
Norwich City and QPR are willing to pay £8m to land Dwight Gayle from Crystal Palace, reported Mail Online.
The forward will be allowed to leave Selhurst Park this month and Palace hope to make a profit on the £6m they initially paid for him in 2013, as he joined from Peterborough.
£30M FOR A 16-YEAR-OLD. WHATEVER NEXT.
Manchester United are a bit mad in the transfer market. And generally, transfer rumours can get a tad ridiculous too. But this...this one is off the scale crazy.
Sportmediaset report that United are willing to pay THIRTY MILLION QUID FOR A 16-YEAR-OLD GOALKEEPER. Not even sorry about the caps/bold. The next Gianluigi Buffon, Antonio Donnarumma, is reportedly being eyed up as a long-term replacement for David de Gea.
Now there's no doubt this kid will be good, but come on. This world is crazy.
VILLA EYE OUTLANDISH POGBA SWOOP
Aston Villa are hoping to give their hopes of avoiding relegation a significant boost by signing Pogba...Florentin Pogba, from Saint Etienne.
Norwich, Newcastle and Swansea are all believed to be interested too, though this fella is actually the older brother of Juventus superstar Paul. So don't get too excited.
Foot Mercato say Villa have made an approach for Pogba, but it's unlikely a deal will be reached in January. Means Villa are a little bit naffed then really, doesn't it?
MARTINEZ AND BILIC LEAD BYRAM SUITORS
Everton and West Ham are leading the race to sign highly-rated Leeds full back Sam Byram this month, leaving Liverpool in their wake.
The Express report that the Toffees are looking to secure a £3m deal for the player - even while Leeds are holding out for £5m - while the Hammers are looking to raise funds for the deal by selling forward Nikica Jelavic.
The London Evening Standard also report that West Ham are also looking to sign Simone Zaza from Juventus.
HAMMERS CONSIDER BID FOR FOXES FLOP
On the note of West Ham targeting strikers, the Express claim that they're eyeing up a cut-priced deal to lure Andrej Kramaric away from Leicester City.
Kramaric is the club's record signing at £9m, but Claudio Ranieri will let him leave for closer to £6m this month. Again, it does come down to the London club raising funds by selling players to secure the deal, but he could come as a cheaper alternative to Zaza.
REDS AND UNITED BATTLE FOR ITALIAN PRODIGY
Liverpool and Manchester United are going head-to-head to sign another Italian teenager (United's second such link of the day) in the shape of
Italian publication TMW report that the young winger is one of the brightest prospects in Italian football and is already a hit at national Under-17 level, but his future is up in the air at the moment as the two clubs and Real Madrid are vying for his signing.
His current contract expires in 2017, but the sides are looking to seal a deal far sooner.
BARCA SET TO SEAL NOLITO DEAL AHEAD OF GUNNERS
Barcelona are on the verge of beating Arsenal to the signing of Celta Vigo winger Nolito, reported TV3
Nolito has had an offer on the table from Arsenal, but has been holding out for Barcelona.
CITY EYE LATE IVANOVIC SWOOP
UNITED SWITCH ATTENTION TO GOMES